


more hearts than mine

by millsx



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cute, F/M, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, One direction AU, dad!louis, larry au, larry stylison - Freeform, louis/danielle kind of, wedding au, zero angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:29:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25443172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millsx/pseuds/millsx
Summary: Louis meets Harry at a wedding when they're both hiding outside, eating deserts. They end up spending the evening together, and while they're having a great time, Louis isn't necessarily planning on seeing him ever again. Which is why he might have forgotten to mention the fact that he has a daughter with the bride.
Relationships: Danielle Campbell/Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 19
Kudos: 218
Collections: Favorite Larry Fanfics





	more hearts than mine

**Author's Note:**

> hello!  
> I'm a sucker for kid fics and Louis as a dad, so I'm presenting you with this AU. I loved writing it so much, and I hope you'll enjoy reading it!   
> It is loosely inspired by the movie Table 19, but it just gave me the idea, the plot is completely different!   
> Anyway, I hope you're all doing great!   
> mills xx

_If we break up,  
I’ll be fine   
But you’ll be breaking more hearts than mine. _

If Louis could turn back time, he’d rewind the last forty minutes. Nothing particularly bad happened, mind you, but if he _could_ , he’d undo the last forty minutes and not send Penny up to her room with her grandmother. Instead, he would have taken her himself, so he wouldn’t have to sit alone at this table right now and watch the people on the dance floor get drunker and drunker.

Honestly, if it wasn’t for that sweet little girl, he’d probably be with them right now. He huffs quietly as he watches his old college friends, namely Niall and Liam, stumble over their own feet and laugh hysterically at it when they notice. Niall’s arm is slumped over Liam’s shoulders and they’re both all wonky, with Niall’s blonde quiff deflated, hair sticking to his forehead and Liam’s cheeks flushed. 

Louis shakes his head at them, a flood of warmth rushing through his veins and into his heart. They’re both sloppy drunk and absolutely embarrassing, but he loves them with every single fiber inside of his body. It’s like that day in college when they ate cupcakes in the middle of the night after their first exams, sprawled out on the creaky floorboards of Niall’s dorm room. They passed around a bottle of red wine, and Louis hated the taste of it, but their limbs were heavy and touching, and Louis did not actually know which one of the socked feet were his anymore. Somehow, he realized that night that these two idiots were going to be there for the rest of his life. 

And they were. 

He tears his gaze away from them and lets his eyes scan the ballroom again. The theme is obviously rustic, with heavy colors and lots of ivy and red roses. Everywhere he looks, there are golden lights glistening, drenching the room in something that feels utterly magical. Penny had freaked out over this a few hours before, eyes growing wide and cheeks flushing. 

Eventually, his eyes lands on Danielle. Louis has no clue about all this wedding stuff, but she looks drop dead gorgeous. Her hair is in some sort of updo, with soft curls framing her face and she’s showing off her most beautiful smile. And she’s wearing this white dress with spaghetti straps and an abundance of lace and she’s never seemed happier. 

When she notices Louis, she waves at him and throws him a look that reads ‘ _Go and have fun, you absolute killjoy_ ’ and Louis rolls his eyes at her. 

It’s not that Louis doesn’t drink or hates weddings. In fact, he’s had champagne and a cocktail and wine with dinner, and he’s been looking forward to this wedding for what feels like an eternity, but Penelope is upstairs, probably fast asleep, and he’s not keen on being even the tiniest bit tipsy when he gets back to their room.

To satisfy Dani, he gets up from his place at the table anyway and makes his way through the crowd of people, some of them nodding at him. He politely smiles back but refrains from engaging in anything more than that. 

He grabs a plate and mounts it with deserts before slipping out into the cool night. The sky is navy blue, in a weirdly intense way, with bright stars sprinkled all over it. Inside, the music switches from something horribly upbeat to the thousandth Ed Sheeran song of the night. Something about airplanes. Louis shakes his head again and sits down on the bench around the corner.

He’s halfway made his way through a cup of mousse au chocolat when someone flops down beside him. He can’t describe it any other way. It’s like all of the energy was drained out of this guy’s body and it just fell down on the bench, an empty carcass of a person. 

“You okay?” Louis asks before he can stop himself. 

The guy nods, then shakes his head, then nods again. Louis raises an eyebrow at him.

“Bride or groom?” The guy asks instead. 

“Bride,” Louis offers. He doesn’t feel like going into details about his relationship to Dani, so he doesn’t. 

“Interesting. I’m with the groom. I’m Harry by the way.” 

“Louis,” he replies, spooning another load of chocolate into his mouth. It tastes like actual heaven. Harry leans over and grabs a tiny cupcake from his plate, and – what. Who does that?

“Excuse me?” Louis says, only slightly affronted. 

“Sorry,” he replies through a mouthful of cupcake, crumbs spilling out a little. “I’m having a stressful night, you’ll understand.”

“Why would I?” Louis asks and sets the plate down, just so that he can cross his arms in front of his chest.

“Just – You’re eating desert outside all by yourself while everyone else is getting drunk off their faces,” Harry explains, and makes eyes at the plate again. With a defeated groan, Louis pushes it in his direction. 

“What are you, my therapist? Also, you’re out here, too, so. Eating _my_ food, for the record.” 

“Okay,” Harry draws out, “Fair. I’m hiding from my ex-boyfriend.” 

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to him. At every wedding he has attended so far, there has always been at least one person running away from an ex all night. Seems like he found that person of this wedding. 

Louis nods and stays quiet. That doesn’t seem to sit right with Harry, who is looking at him expectantly, like he owes him something.

“Oh, I’m hiding from my ex too,” he deadpans, and he can see how Harry has to think about it for a second to decide whether he’s serious or not.   
“Come on, be serious. You can tell me,” he urges, and Louis rolls his eyes. 

“What, because I know you so well?” 

The ridiculous truth is that he doesn’t really have a reason not to have fun at this wedding. Five years ago, it was very close to it being him with Dani up there, in front of the altar. It’s good that it wasn’t him, they would’ve gotten married for all the wrong reasons, none of them being love. At least not that kind of love. 

For some reason, he feels like he’s shriveling away under Harry’s indignant gaze, so he says, “Because my friends want me to get drunk with them, and Dani probably wants me to hook up with a stranger or find the love of my life – either of those things would make her as happy as the other – but I want none of that, so.” He shrugs, and Harry nods. 

“Thank you for telling me,” he says, and it comes so unsuspectedly, that Louis huffs out a laugh.

“You’re welcome?” 

They sit quietly in the dark after that, the sounds of the party inside sweeping through the open glass door, until the deserts plate is empty, except for a few crumbs.

“Wanna get a refill?” Louis asks, already getting to his feet.

Harry follows him back inside, and when they’re arguing over cakes and puddings in front of the buffet, Louis notices his looks for the first time. It wasn’t exactly pitch-black outside, but dark enough for him to actually make out anything than silhouettes. 

His hair is somewhat curly, and he has cheekbones and a jawline to die for, and his eyes are a vibrant shadow of deep green, like some sort of cat. 

“Shit,” Harry mutters out of nowhere, bowing down his head and inching closer to Louis. 

“What?” he asks and turns around, not actually knowing what he’s looking for. 

“Ex on three o’clock,” he replies, inspecting the pana cotta cups with sudden interest. 

Louis cranes his neck until he spots someone staring right back at him, a black haired bloke with his jaw clenched shut and his fists stuffed into the pockets of his trousers. 

“Why did you break up?” He asks curiously, as he turns back to Harry. 

“He broke up with me. Over text. Anyway, it’s not like I’m not over him, just for the record, but he showed up here with his new boyfriend like the dick he is. They got together like two weeks after the breakup. I’m not accusing anyone of anything, but if you asked me, there was something going before that. Sorry, I’m talking too much. Sorry,” he scrambles, and pushes his hair out of his face. 

And Louis does not know why he does what he does next, but he reaches out and fixes Harry’s collar for him and smooths out the fabric of his jacket with a flat hand, and when he checks, the ex-boyfriend has averted his eyes. 

“Sorry,” Louis says, cringing. “I probably shouldn’t have, like – “ 

“No, no. It’s fine,” Harry interrupts, but Louis keeps going, unprompted. 

“Sorry, he just sounds like an asshole and I shouldn’t have, but you know, I wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine, if that makes sense,” he winces at his own words, but when he looks up, Harry is grinning widely at him.

“You’re a genius. Look, we could just stick together for the night and be rid of our problems. No more hiding. Dani will think you’re ‘hooking up’ and Ben won’t try to talk to me,” Harry says, and his eyes glisten with something that Louis can only explain as mischief. 

Louis glances at his watch. It’s only quarter past ten, and he can’t get away with sneaking out until midnight, if that. So spending the hours until then with someone who seems nice enough to have a decent conversation with and use him as a shield to protect himself from attacks coming either from Dani or Niall and Liam sounds like a good plan. 

He just nods and drags Harry to the dance floor by his wrist. He doesn’t know the song, but it’s thankfully not Ed Sheeran anymore. He technically doesn’t have anything against that bloke, but Dani loaded the playlist for the wedding with his songs and there are only so many songs by him one can endure in a single night.

It’s easy to blend in with Harry between the other wedding guests. And it’s fun, somehow. Louis doesn’t come out of his shell often anymore, and he gets the feeling his friends want him to, are waiting for it, but he can’t. He’s not the same guy he was in college or university, and he has ten times the responsibility than he did then, but he allows himself not to dwell on it for now. Only this night. 

As it turns out, Harry is a nightmare on the dance floor. No hand-feet coordination, no sense for rhythm or what moves are appropriate and which are not and more than once he steps on Louis’ feet, but he finds that he doesn’t mind. He laughs about it, teases him, and then revels in the looks his friends throw at him from time to time. 

They talk about the ceremony (which was sweet and as romantic as it gets), the food (mouthwatering) and the music selection (critical) but Louis makes sure to steer away from anything too personal. This is why he doesn’t drink. Well, at least it’s one of the reasons why. If he were tipsy right now, he’d spill all his secrets and whatnots to this – admittedly good-looking – stranger. 

The hours go by without either of them really noticing, and they vary between dancing and getting food and talking, and if they slow-dance on more than one occasion, nobody has to know. Well, everyone knows because they _saw_ , but no one has to know the whirl of feelings it swoops up from the pit of Louis’ stomach and no one has to know that he lets himself go more than he usually would. He also has no intention on telling anyone.   
Before he knows, people slowly start leaving the ballroom towards the elevators that lead up to the hotel rooms, and he notices he’s tired down to his bones as well. 

“I, uhm. I had fun tonight. Thank you for getting me out of my slump,” Louis tells Harry when they’re about to part ways. They’re standing in a mostly deserted hallway, a little too close for Louis’ comfort but he doesn’t back away either. It’s like Harry is a magnet, and Louis feels him pull, the closer they are, the more he feels it. 

“Yeah, me too. Thanks for scheming with me,” he says, a smug smirk on his lips. 

“It was a pleasure,” Louis grins, and bows a little. Who is he becoming? What is happening to him? 

For a moment, neither of them says anything, and it’s like the air between them is suddenly charged with electricity. So charged that Louis can feel his hackles rise. 

He watches Harry’s face closely, which is why he notices how his eyes flicker towards his mouth and stay there for the fraction of a moment and then go back up and meet his gaze. It’s like he’s asking someone without actually saying something. Louis knows what he’s asking, he’s not daft, but he can’t. He can’t do this. 

Because there is a five-year-old girl asleep behind the door four rooms over, and he loves her more than he has ever loved anything else. Because this five-year-old girl already has a ripped-apart family, and he can’t do anything that would make it worse. 

Which is why, when Harry comes just an inch closer, Louis puts a hand on his chest and gently pushes him back. He doesn’t miss the look of confusion on Harry’s face, and something inside of him winces a little at it. 

He shakes his head and smiles, but he knows it’s crooked and comes off as sad, “Look, H. I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong idea, but I’m not that kind of person.” 

Harry looks baffled, to say the least. He’s frowning and rubbing the back of his neck. 

“I have a lot going on, I’m sorry. I can’t do this,” he says, and turns around, walks over to his room and unlocks the door. 

Before he can stop himself, he turns around right before he slips through the door, and sees Harry still standing there in the hallway, hands stuffed into his pockets. He waves at him, and then closes the door shut behind him. 

*** 

“No,” Penelope shakes her head vehemently and her brown curls whip around, “Not eating that.” 

“Penny,” he says, trying to sound stern, but his head is not in the right place. He just keeps thinking about Harry, about last night.   
“I don’t _like_ it,” she argues, and pushes her plate towards the center of the table. It clanks against her glass, causing orange juice to splash over and stain the tablecloth in bright yellow. 

Louis suppresses a groan, “Last time I checked you loved strawberries, honey. Remember when we went to that farm with Granny, and you ate so many of them that you got nauseated?” 

He reaches out for her plate, but she just shakes her head again, crosses her arms and leans back in her chair. It’s ridiculous how much she reminds him of himself sometimes. It is then that he notices that her lower lip starts quivering, and he knows it’s a sign for a meltdown looming over them. 

That doesn’t happen often anymore, her last tantrum in public was ages ago, and he doesn’t necessarily fancy going back to that time. But she went to bed late last night, and she’s been tired and moody all morning and Dani’s mom is already eyeing him from across the room, so he gives in for today. 

“Come on, princess,” he sighs and pats his lap. At first, she’s still pouting but then crawls over and nuzzles into his chest. He runs a hand through her hair for a moment and presses a kiss to the top of her head. 

“So, Tommo, tell us. Who was that handsome bloke last night?” Niall asks from across the table, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. Liam slaps his arm, muttering something like, “I thought we agreed not to ask him.” 

“No one,” Louis replies casually, and starts bouncing Penny on his lap while simultaneously trying to eat his own breakfast. It only works partly. He usually doesn’t lift her up anymore or lets her sit on his lap during mealtimes, not because she’s too heavy or big, but because kids apparently have to learn manners. But he loves how much of a daddy’s girl she is and how she always snuggles close in front of the TV or when he reads her a bedtime story. 

“Bullshit,” Niall barks out, and Louis shoots him a warning glance. There’s only hoping that Penny didn’t hear him. 

“I’m just saying that we saw you being all over him for the entire night, and then you left together,” he says, more quietly as if the volume was the problem and not the wording. 

“I was _not_ ,” he hisses back, “and we didn’t leave together, for the record. I went back to my room and that was it.” Well. For the most part. 

“Louis,” Liam chimes in, “You know you’re allowed to date and stuff like that, right? Being a single parent doesn’t make it illegal to want something more.” 

He is about to respond, to fall into the same argument they’ve had a million times before, but Penelope, bless her, saves him by turning around and grabbing a piece of toast from his plate. It gives him an excuse to avert his attention. 

This is something that happens sometimes, and Louis doesn’t really know what to do about it. If he even should do something about it. Some days, she won’t eat anything and then start eating whatever is on his plate, even if it’s something completely different than she wanted in the first place. 

“Does that taste good?” He asks her, leaning sideways to see her face. She got Danielle’s eyes, more greenish than blue, and her mouth, but his nose and ears. She’s the cutest little thing he’s ever seen, and now she’s nodding. 

“Very,” she says, and Louis laughs a little. When he looks back up to his friends, they’re smiling back at him. 

*** 

Two hours later, he’s loading their bags into the back of his car, ready to drive back home. He already bid his goodbyes to Dani and her now-husband Nick but left Penelope with them so she could spend at least an hour with them before they’d go on their honeymoon. It also made packing a lot easier without her jumping around on the bed. 

He slams the trunk shut and shoots Dani a text that he’s ready to leave and leans against the hood, waiting. 

Which is a bad idea, he notices, because out of nowhere Harry appears, wearing jeans and t-shirt and it makes him look different than last night. 

“Hi, uhm. I just wanted to say I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, or anything,” he says to him, and it takes Louis a little bit by surprise. He kind of didn’t expect him to come to apologize. 

“Oh. That’s really nice of you to say that. Uh. It’s okay, though. It’s almost too easy to get a little lost with all of that wedding stuff around,” he replies, scratching the back of his neck. 

“Right,” Harry says, and it seems like he’s struggling for something else to say, but then there’s a loud squeal and when Louis looks up, Penelope is running towards them. 

“Dad,” she yelps, and flings herself at him. He catches her under her arms and hoists her up to his hips, concerned for a moment. 

“Daddy,” she repeats brightly, “Mum said I can get a pet at her house!” 

All of his worries fall off of him. He stops to think about the pet thing for a second, because co-parenting is hard and he knows for a fact that once Dani isn’t home, he’ll have to take care of that pet and his landlord isn’t a big fan of animal lovers. But this is Dani’s wedding weekend, and it’s hard on her to not have Penny around all of the time, he knows that, so he decides that he shouldn’t be mad. 

His mother told him that it’s important to pick his battles wisely, and this isn’t one he needs to fight.   
“What kind do you want? A little bunny, maybe?” He asks her, but she laughs and shakes her head.

When he looks up, Dani is standing behind Harry, listening in on their conversation. And, shit. Harry. He doesn’t recall whether he told her about Penelope. Probably not. Going by the look on Harry’s face, he _definitely_ didn’t tell him. And now her mother is standing behind him, and isn’t this just a clusterfuck of a situation? 

“Wroong, I want a dragon!” Penny interrupts his thoughts, waving her arms around. Louis sets her back down, and she immediately wanders off to Dani, listing all the names she would give to a dragon. 

“Good luck with getting that out of her head,” he snorts in Dani’s direction, and she subtly flips him off while crouching down beside their daughter. And makes eyes at him and Harry, and Louis shakes his head and tries to look somewhat relaxed. He totally isn’t. 

“So. Uhm. Where were we?” Louis asks, cringing, and doesn’t dare look at Harry. 

It’s not like he owes him anything. He’s a stranger he danced with for one night, he doesn’t need to know everything about Louis’ life. And he didn’t even kiss him last night, so. 

“You have a daughter,” Harry says, and it’s more of a statement than a question. 

“Yes,” he says, “she’s five.” 

“You have a daughter with Danielle,” he adds, and his face _screams_ confusion. 

“Didn’t you know she had a daughter from before Nick?” Louis asks, face scrunched up as if he’s looking into the sun. 

“I mean, yeah, I did. I just didn’t think _you_ were the dad, that’s it. And I also didn’t think that’s what you meant when you said you were with the bride,” he says. The pebbles of the parking lot crunch beneath the soles of his shoes when he drags his feet along the ground. 

“What are you getting at, Harry?” 

“Nothing, I swear. I’m just confused, that’s all, because I thought – I don’t know, I thought we had something last night, I guess,” he says and something inside of Louis snaps. 

“I don’t owe you an explanation. I don’t owe you anything, and the details of my relationships are none of your business. Let me spell it out for you, okay? I have a daughter with Danielle. That’s all you need to know, not even. We didn’t _‘have’_ anything last night, and I don’t owe you shit,” he says in a low voice so Dani and Penny can’t hear anything he’s saying. 

“I know that, but – “ 

“No buts, Harry. It was nice meeting you,” he says and turns away to the car, “Penny, are you ready? Hug Mummy real tight, she’s going on vacation!” 

“Can we go on vacation, too, Dad?” She asks as he straps her into her seat, and he can’t help but smile down on her. 

“I have work right now, honey, you know that. But we can visit Granny next weekend if you want to,” he says. 

When he backs out of the parking spot, he notices Harry still watching him. He bites down on his lower lip, wondering why he feels so gutted about this, while Penelope chats about Doncaster and cookies and the youngest set off twins from her backseat. 

*** 

“Dad, can I tell you something?” The door to his office opens, and Penelope sticks her head in through the gap. 

“Yeah, of course,” he says, pushing his chair back so she can climb up on his lap. He’s been grading essays for the past hour while letting her watch Aladdin and he’s sort of surprised she’s coming in before the movie ended. Usually, she gets so emerged in the fictional world, he has to say her name twice until she reacts. 

“Did you know that a lightning bolt is hotter than the sun? And that the clouds are only white because the sun shines on them?” She asks, and her eyes go wide with excitement. 

“No, I did not know that. That’s amazing. Where did you get that from?” Louis asks her and straightens her ponytail. It’s not his best work, but, to be fair, he has never had long hair and Penelope’s hair is getting longer by the second. At least it feels that way. 

“Uncle Ni told me,” she says, obviously proud of herself for remembering. She’s quiet for a while and Louis inhales her smell of strawberry shampoo and laundry detergent. 

“Dad, can I ask you something?” Penny says, and twists to look at him. 

“You don’t have to ask me, honey. Shoot, what’s up?” 

“Mum got married, yeah? To Nick, didn’t she?” 

Louis nods. Shit. He has a hunch about where this is going, and he doesn’t love it. 

“So, I asked Miss Burke about marrying someone. And _she_ said that mums marry dads because they love each other very much. But Mum married Nick, but you’re my dad. Don’t you and Mum love each other?” 

“Oh, Penny. You don’t need to worry about us, okay? It’s like that: There are different kinds of love. Mum and Nick have the kind that gets married, and Uncle Ni and I are best friends and we love each other too, but I wouldn’t ever marry him. Can you picture me with Uncle Ni?” 

She shakes her head, her ponytail whacking into Louis’ arm. 

“See? And I love your Mum like I love Uncle Ni. And the most important thing is that we both love you the most. Even though you stole a cookie before lunch without asking for it,” he teases, starting to tickle her. 

“I _said_ I’m sorry,” she wants to argue, but it’s overpowered by her giggling. 

“Alright, munchkin. Let’s make some pasta for dinner, yeah?” 

***

Between work and taking care of Penelope and keeping their apartment inhabitable, Louis doesn’t think of Harry again. Well, Liam brings him up once when he’s over to help him install new speakers in the living room, but Louis makes it obvious that he doesn’t feel the need to talk about it. There isn’t even anything to talk about, really. 

It’s not like it was some sort of Cinderella thing where they fell deeply and utterly in love and then lost sight of each other. They spent a nice evening together, yes, and if the situation had been different, Louis might have even asked him out, but the facts are that Louis has a daughter that needs him more than he needs a date. 

After that conversation half a week after the wedding, Louis pretty much stuffed that night into the back corner of his mind. Which is why it takes him completely by surprise when he gets a text a few days later. 

_Hey, this is Harry. Danielle gave me your number, I hope that’s okay. I just wanted to apologize for what I said in the parking lot, it wasn’t my place to comment about your life. I was a little taken aback, to be honest. Anyway, this is all I wanted to say. Have a good one!_

Louis sits back and just stares at his phone, at the grey bubble in front of him. He didn’t expect to hear from him at all, and certainly not a seemingly sincere apology. He’s gotten much more shit about being a dad at his age from far more important people in his life, and most of the time, no one ever apologized. 

He knows that he would have never chosen for his life to turn out this way, at least not this early. He always thought that he’d have time, an abundance of time, to figure himself out and what he wanted from life. But then, all of the sudden, Danielle was pregnant and there wasn’t much time left for that. He had to get his shit together, and he did. 

He knows that he would have never chosen for his life to turn out this way, at least not this early. But when he looks at the wisps of brown curls and green eyes and a bright smile next to him, he knows he’d do it all over again in a heartbeat. 

This is why Louis doesn’t get the judging looks on the street or the comments from elder women in the grocery store when he’s out with Penny. He prides himself on being a good father, and putting her first and it seems like he’s doing a decent job at it, so why do others feel the need to constantly show him their disapproval? 

He runs a hand over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. He hates this. And it’s not about being insecure, or about being ashamed, because who could be ashamed of being the dad to the cutest little girl this earth has ever seen, and more about being tired. The judgement, and the scrutiny, and the constant mirror in front of his face saying ‘ _you’re too young for this, how are you planning on raising children when you’re yourself barely an adult?_ ’ 

He thumbs at his phone, opening iMessage again. 

_Hi Harry. Thank you, again. Maybe I owe you an apology, too. I was very harsh, but you need to understand that stuff like that happens more often than I’d like to admit. I get a little protective, I guess. So, I’m sorry for that and hope you’ll understand. I hope you’re doing well!_

It is only after he hit send that he notices the double use of ‘hope’. It shouldn’t bother him, he barely ever uses punctuation in his texts, but, somehow, he can’t stop staring at the last sentence. He’s an English teacher, for God’s sake, he of all people should know how to avoid redundancies. 

He tosses his phone away and tries to focus on the papers in front of him. It’s a multiple-choice quiz and apparently only few students actually read the book he asked them to, and it’s getting increasingly frustrating to write down the scores in red ink. 

He’s going to have a field day tomorrow in that class. 

He groans, praying for a distraction. Niall is out with Penny for the day, eating ice cream and playing at the park so Louis could actually get some work done. Without his and Liam’s help, he’d probably be burned out by now, but right now he wishes that they’d come back and persuade him into watching a movie with them. 

Complaining doesn’t get him anywhere, so he sighs and gets back to grading. 

“Et tu, Brute?” He mutters under his breath when he notices that one the top students of the class got only four questions right. It was an _easy_ test, for fuck’s sake, he thought he was doing them a favor with it. 

*** 

The following week is a mess. He has his class retake the test, which only earns him complaints and groans and a new stack of papers on his mess, and Penelope is getting increasingly grumpy because Dani is still on her honeymoon, which means she can’t pick Penny up for her dance class on Wednesday like she usually does and it’s so obvious that she _misses her_ , it hurts Louis’ heart to see her like this.   
Going out for pizza after dance class and talking to her mother over facetime helps, though, and gets a smile back on her face. 

When Louis talks to Danielle, she seems relaxed and happy and he’s genuinely excited for her. She works a lot, more than him, and a proper vacation is probably what she needed. 

“You seem tired, Louis,” she says when he quietly shuts the door to Penny’s room behind him, she fell asleep during the phone call. 

“Yeah, you know how it is,” he replies, shrugging a little and settles down on the couch. His body is heavy with exhaustion, and it’s not even that late. When he glances over to the kitchen, he notices that he needs to do the dishes from that morning and clean up the mess Penny made with her watercolors on the kitchen table. 

“I’m sorry. I know it’s a lot with exams coming up and having Penny for three weeks straight must be exhausting,” Dani apologizes and pushes her hair out of her face. She’s got a nice tan from days in the sun, and for a second she looks just like their daughter. 

“Hey, it’s your honeymoon. No guilt, okay? I’m doing just fine and Niall and Liam are helping out a lot, as always,” he says. 

“I know, I know. Just wanna make sure she’s not strangling you.” She pauses for a second, and Louis does not like the look on her face when she starts talking again, “You know, I heard that going on dates is a great stress relief.” 

“Bullshit. If anything, it’s a cause for _more_ stress,” he says, rolling his eyes. 

“All I’m saying is that a certain Harry asked me for your number, and I do remember you two having a good time at the wedding,” she says, a smug grin taking over her facial expression. 

“Dani,” he sighs, “I’m not going to ask him out. You know how I feel about all of that.” 

“Yes, but it doesn’t even make sense, Louis. You’re allowed to find someone special to you, you _deserve_ to spend your energy on someone else than Penny,” she argues and her face changes to serious, eyebrows furrowed just the slightest bit. 

“It’s not that easy. Do you remember how long it took for her to get used to Nick? She asked me a few days ago why we’re not married when we’re her parents. Everyone else’s parents in her class are married, and it’s already so confusing for her. I doubt it’d make it easier for her if I suddenly started to date a total stranger. A male one in addition to that,” he scoffs and gets up again. This sounds like the conversation is going to drag on for longer, and he really needs to tidy up the apartment. 

“Louis,” Dani sighs, sympathetically, “You know she’ll understand it after a while. It’s not a reason for you to be unhappy because it doesn’t fit into the picture. Penny adores you, you know that. You’re, like, her knight in shining armor, she does not care who you date.” 

“Okay, but say we break up and she got used to him? I _know_ what it feels like to not have a stable family life, and I don’t want her to experience the same stuff,” he explains while putting plates and glasses into the dishwasher. 

“You’re never going to find out what could happen if you don’t go for it. And you seem to be forgetting that she will always have you and me, and Nick. Also, you turned out just fine.” 

“Maybe, but it still sucked. I just want to protect her and if I have to pass on a couple of dates, I’m totally fine with that.” 

“Why are you so stubborn? Louis, please. I’m not even saying that you should go out with Harry or anyone else, just don’t push people like him away because you’re overprotective. You deserve to be happy,” Danielle says, slowly, as if she’s waiting for the words to sink into his brain. 

“But I am happy, okay? I don’t need all of that stuff,” he sighs, defeated. If his friends could just stop mingling with his love life, that would be great. 

*** 

“Penelope, stop. I swear to God, if you don’t stop putting sweets into the cart, I’ll throw out the TV,” Louis blusters and tries to wrangle a carton of oreos out of her hands. Her grip is tight, but he eventually manages to get it out and puts it back on the shelf. 

“You’re mean,” she complains, a pout taking over her face. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” he says and takes her hand, dragging her along to the milk isle. He lost her once while grocery shopping and those were the most terrifying ten minutes of his life. 

“Do you want vanilla or strawberry yogurt?” He asks her and inspects the shelf in front of him. When she doesn’t reply but tugs at his hands instead, he turns around. 

And walks right into another person. 

“Shit, sorry. My bad,” he scrambles, not noticing the swearword slipping out. 

“You said the bad word!” Penny immediately shouts, and he can feel other shoppers turning in their direction. 

He’s about to say something to her when the person he ran into clears their throat and says, “Louis.” 

It’s Harry. All brown hair and dimples and green eyes in a soft shirt and jeans, and Louis hates him for a second. He doesn’t know why. 

“Jesus, are you stalking me?” He asks, glaring at him. 

“No? Why would I do that?” Harry asks, a frown contouring his forehead.   
“Just – You know what, forget it. Hi,” he says, trying to smile authentically at him. 

“My sister lives in the area, for your information. She sent me to get some milk for her tea, because hers is all moldy and runny, it’s disgusting,” he says, distorting his face in what is obviously repulsion. 

Penelope giggles at the face, reminding Louis of her existence. 

“And who are you, little Miss?” Harry asks and crouches down in front of her. 

“’m Penny,” she mumbles shyly, scooting closer to Louis and hugging his leg. He rests his left hand on her head, protectively. 

“Very nice to meet you. I’m Harry,” he smiles and waves at her which coaxes a smile out of her. 

“’ello,” she says. 

“Alright, uhm. It was nice to see you, Harry. We really need to get going, but, you know. We’ll see each other around or something,” he says and basically flees from him. 

He only realizes that when he’s home later that evening that he forgot to buy the yogurt. He gets an earful from Penelope about it, of course. 

***

_Hey, I hate to do this over text, but you don’t seem to pick up the phone, so. I’d really like to go out with you some time, for dinner or something. If you want to, of course._

“Hey, are you even listening to me?” 

Liam’s voice jerks him back to reality, and Louis looks up from the phone he’s been staring at for the last minute. 

“What?” He asks, and Liam rolls his eyes at him. 

“I said – wait, what are you looking at? I swear, if you’re reading work related e-mails again, I’ll have your balls,” he says, ripping the phone out of his hands. 

They’re sitting in front of the TV in Louis’ apartment, drinking a beer while Penelope is fast asleep in her room down the hall. 

“Give it back,” Louis groans, extending a hand for it. He’s too tired for Liam’s shenanigans. For the love of God, he has a daughter that pulls enough tricks on him already, he doesn’t need a best friend to do it too. 

“Interesting. Is that the Harry from Dani’s wedding?” 

“Liam,” he says in a stern voice that’s usually reserved for Penelope, but it’s no use. 

“So it _is_ him. I didn’t know you still talked to him,” he says, grinning widely. 

Louis lets himself sink further into the cushions, “Not really. Can I have my phone back now?” 

“Only if you go out with him,” Liam prompts, smirking. 

“Nope,” he says, crossing his arms. He really needs to stop doing that, he looks like a toddler while doing it. He stuffs them into the pockets of his trackies instead. 

“C’mon, he clearly likes you, and it seemed like you did too,” he argues, pushing his shoulder into Louis’. 

“I _just_ had this conversation with Dani about a week ago. Can’t you two coordinate and gossip behind my back so I don’t have to hear it?” 

“Oops, too late. I already told him you’re going. Aaand he texted back. He’s picking you up on Friday at seven thirty. I’ll even watch Penelope for you for the night.” 

Louis throws himself at Liam, startling him enough to yank his phone out of his hands. 

“I could kill you right now, you know that? Shit, I fucking hate you. Why would you do this?” He stammers reading over the text Liam sent. 

*** 

“Hello?” 

“Okay, Harry, this is how we are going to do this. I’m by no means trying to be rude, but I need some ground rules. I’ll pick you up on Friday, not the other way around. _If_ there is going to be a second date, we’ll only go out when Penelope is with Dani. We can’t go anywhere without cellphone reception, and I’m not turning my phone off in a cinema or something. I don’t know whether you smoke or not, but no smoking when you’re with me. Also, you’re not going to meet Penny anytime soon, okay? And, uhm, you can’t spend the night here, just, you know, merely hypothetically,” Louis rushes out, pressing the phone to his ear. 

Liam just left, leaving him behind with the mess he caused. 

“Hello to you too, Louis. Can I say something?” Harry asks, and his voice has a bemused edge to it. 

“Go ahead,” he says, frowning. 

“I know Penelope is always going to be your top priority. I’m down with any rules you need to make sure of that,” he says, and Louis is a little taken aback by it. He sounds so sincere, so earnest. 

“Okay. I just wanted to make sure you knew that, so you don’t expect something else,” he replies, hating the way his voice tells on him by going all soft. 

“No, it’s alright. Am I allowed to plan our date even though you’re picking me up?” 

“Do however you please,” he says, and finds himself smiling. What the hell is happening to him? 

“Great. Also, is that the parent in you or are you this bossy in general?” Harry teases, and Louis groans loudly. 

“This conversation is over,” he says, “Goodnight.” And then, he hangs up. 

*** 

“Why can’t I go with you, Daddy?” Penelope whines, her little fingers clutching into the fabric of Louis’ jeans. 

Dani’s been gone for two weeks now, and Penny is growing clingier and clingier with every day. She should be used to her mother being gone a lot, with her travelling for work all the time, but it’s never for more than a week. Today is especially bad because she had trouble sleeping and crept into Louis’ bed at two in the morning, troubled by a nightmare that had her crying for at least twenty more minutes. 

He crouches down next to her so he can look her in her eyes, “I’ll be home in no time, bub, I promise. And until then, Uncle Liam is going to spend some time with you, alright? You like Liam, don’t you? Remember how he always makes you dinosaur chicken nuggets and lets you eat in front of the TV?” 

She nods a tiny nod, but her eyes are still glassy with tears, “Can you come kiss me goodnight when you’re back?” 

His heart melts utterly and completely, and he hugs her tight and presses a kiss to the top of her head, “Of course I will. When do I ever not do that?” 

Penelope giggles, and Louis lets out a relieved sigh. Crisis averted. 

“Come on, Miss P, let’s start building that castle you were telling me about. Daddy needs to get going or he’ll be late for his playdate,” Liam says, holding out a hand for her to take, and winks at Louis. 

He doesn’t know whether her wants to kiss him in gratitude or kill him for being responsible for all of this in the first place. 

“Have fun, and annoy Uncle Liam for me, yeah?” He says to his daughter as she grabs the latter’s hand and waves to him. 

“Have fun too,” she calls out, already dragging Liam with her into her bedroom. 

It’s only when he’s sitting in his car, twisting the ignition, that he notices the nerves rambling up in his stomach. He doesn’t even have any expectations for tonight, but. He hasn’t been on a real date in ages, all reasons related to Penelope, and even if he found someone he actually liked, he broke it off before it could develop into something more serious. 

And Harry is nice enough, and if he’s being honest, he liked spending time with him at the wedding, and. He shakes his head. Worrying and overthinking isn’t going to get him anywhere right now. 

So, he punches Harry’s address into the satnav, pulls out of the parking spot and takes a left onto the main street. 

*** 

“Sorry I’m late,” Louis says as Harry walks up to his car. The scene reminds him weirdly of the one at the wedding, with him leaning against driver’s door and Harry approaching him almost carefully, like he’s an animal that’s likely to be spooked by sudden movements. 

“Penelope wasn’t fond of the idea of spending her night with Liam, and it took me a little to convince her that eating fast food and watching Disney movies with him is way more interesting than sitting still at a boring restaurant table and having to listening to adult conversation,” he explains without really wanting to, he can’t seem to stop the words from tumbling out of his mouth. 

“Good thing we’re not going to a boring restaurant. Scoot over, I’m driving,” Harry says, stopping in front of him with a challenging smile. 

“Excuse me? I’m not letting you drive _my_ car! How do I even know you can drive?” He argues defensively. 

“Do you want to see my license?”

“No, but – “ 

“You said I could plan the date, in case you forgot. We could also just take my car,” Harry offers, and Louis rolls his eyes, sighing. 

“Fine. Just don’t crash it, please? I still need it.” 

Harry makes a show of rolling his eyes as dramatically as possible, and then Louis hands him the keys and they’re off. 

“Where are we going?” He asks, looking at the scenery flashing past outside of his window. Harry is driving them out of the city, and the apartments and office buildings make place for family homes with big gardens first, and then it’s just fields and trees for the next ten minutes. 

Riding shotgun in his own car instead of driving himself is weird, and he has to actively stop himself from flinching every time Harry veers a little too far to the right for his personal taste. 

“Well, I was thinking about going to the cinema, but there aren’t any good movies playing right now, and just doing dinner is boring, so I ditched that idea too. We’re here,” he explains and takes a left, pulling onto a dirt road. 

Louis recognizes the parking lot, it’s the lake he takes Penelope and her friends to during the summer for a swim. It’s only early spring, though, and the water is still too cold to even dip your toes into. 

“What’s the plan?” He asks as they get out of the car and pulls his jacket tighter around himself. The wind makes the air feel ten times colder than it actually is, and he didn’t think they’d be spending the evening outside. 

“You’ll see,” Harry smiles and leads him down the mellow flank of a hill, down to the docks. During summer, you can rent paddle boats from there, but the rental is usually closed up until late May. 

He tells Harry so, but he shrugs and says, “One of my friends owns a pedal boat, so. I hope you can swim.” 

“I’m betting on you not turn-turtling us,” Louis scoffs in response and steadies himself with a grip on Harry’s shoulder as he boards the tiny boat, the deck wobbly underneath his feet. 

“I could give armbands or a pool noodle if that’d make you feel safer,” he teases and sits down on the second seat so zestfully, the boat begins to sway even more. 

“What did I _just_ say about not turn-turtling us?” he says, but he’s laughing, and Harry starts smiling a little sheepishly. Louis has to avert his eyes from his face, he can feel a flush creeping up his neck and he rubs at it as if he could wipe it away. 

*** 

An hour later, Louis is wrapped in a thick blanket Harry brought, because he apparently thinks of everything, and he ate so much pizza that was in the picnic basket, he’s beginning to feel a little nauseated. 

The sun is setting, dipping the sky in oranges and pinks and blues, and it’s so pretty, he just stares at it for a while, the water sloshing around them. 

“What?” He asks Harry, when he notices the pinched expression on his face. 

They’ve been talking about everything and nothing for the last evening, about Louis’ job as a teacher and Harry’s work with a company that deals with environmental design, and about their families and their friends, and it’s going rather well so far. 

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Yeah, of course,” he replies and angles his body more towards Harry to pay full attention to him. 

He pushes his curls out of his face, and pulls at his lower lip in thought, like he’s still trying to think about how to phrase his question. Then, he wipes his hands at his jeans, and says, “Why didn’t you tell me you had a daughter that night? At the wedding, I mean?” 

Louis sighs and thinks about all the reasons why. “It basically comes down to this, and please don’t take this the wrong way, but I just didn’t think I’d see you ever again and didn’t think it mattered, because I knew that I wouldn’t take it any further than dancing.” 

A frown forms on Harry’s face, and Louis reaches out to take his hand in his. The contact sends what feels like an electric shock through his entire arm, and he realizes that this is the first time he initiated it. It shouldn’t whack his brain like it does. 

“Look,” Louis says, waiting for Harry to meet his eyes, “I need you to know it’s nothing personal. But I barely make decisions on what I want in a certain moment, but instead focus on what consequences it’d have on Penelope’s life. It was like that the night of the wedding. She was already in bed upstairs, and I knew her grandmother was watching her, but I also knew that she wanted to go to bed soon, so I went back to the room instead of – of anything else, really.”

His heart beats so hard, he feels every pulse surging through his body, “It’s not that I didn’t like you, or wasn’t – wasn’t attracted to you,” and God, why is it so hard to talk about this, “Because I was. _Am._. Whatever. It’s only that I never do any of this, because of her, so. That’s why I didn’t tell you.” 

“Okay,” Harry responds quietly, squeezing his hand a little and lets out a breath, like he’s been holding it for a while. 

“Also, there’s all this judgement about, you know, having a kid her age at twenty-five, and I didn’t really want to deal with that,” he adds, and thinks about Harry’s reaction in the parking lot the next morning. He was right about that one, at least. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry, Louis. I wasn’t trying to be disrespectful, I swear,” he says, pressing the balls of his hands into his eyes. He looks up at him again, “I just felt like – I don’t even know. Like I was part of a bad joke.” 

“Why?” 

“Because,” he shrugs a little helplessly, “I liked you, I guess, and then I realized Penelope was your daughter and then my brain betrayed me, and I started asking myself stuff like ‘What if he’s straight?’ and it was like – I can’t explain it, like I didn’t want to be the guy that can’t get over his ex and starts hitting on straight blokes.” 

Louis snorts, and Harry throws him an offended look, “You know one can have straight sex and still be gay? Also, have you ever heard of bisexuality?” 

“I _know_. Like I said, my brain betrayed me. I’m really sorry,” he says, and takes Louis’ hand again. He likes how Harry’s is bigger and warmer than his, swallowing it. 

“It’s okay. I get it now, I think,” he says softly, and when he meets Harry’s eyes, they’re crinkled around the corners from his smile, and his lips are red and Louis really, really wants to kiss him. It surprises himself a little with how much he wants it, because he told himself he’d be careful and take things slow, but. 

And he’s about to lean forward and actually do it, when a thunder cracks so loudly, it makes his heart stop for a second. Harry jumps, too, and accidentally knocks his head into Louis, and then starts cursing and apologizing. 

It only takes two minutes until it starts _absolutely pouring_ down on them, and they’re trying to get back to the docks as fast as possible, but they’re so hectic, they can’t quite coordinate their pedaling. 

By the time they get back onto land, they’re both completely drenched. 

“Where the fuck did that come from?” Harry asks when they’re back in the car, water dripping from hair and clothes onto the seats. 

A lightning rod splits the sky in two, and the rain intensifies. It hits the roof of the car so hard, Louis can barely understand a word Harry is saying. 

“I’m starting to think you were trying to kill me, take me out in the literal sense,” Louis yells over the sound if it, “I mean, bringing me out to the middle of a lake during a thunderstorm?” 

“I’m sorry,” he says, voice coated in distress and rests his head on the steering wheel, “I really thought it wouldn’t rain.” 

Another thunder rolls over them, and Louis wrenches out one of the blankets, the water running into a puddle on the floor. It’s all so ridiculous, he can’t help but bark out a laugh. And then Harry looks up again, and he’s laughing too, and it’s the best first date he’s ever been on. 

*** 

When Louis’ phone rings, he glances apologetically at Harry, who just nods at him to go ahead and pick up. He’s sitting in Harry’s living room, drowning in a hoodie and sweats way too big on him. As his regular clothes were completely drenched, he had to borrow some from Harry, and stole a cup of tea while he was at it. 

“Tommo, hi, I hate to do this, but I think you need to come home,” Liam says, and he seems stressed out, and Louis’ heart drops ten feet into the ground. 

“What’s going on?” He says, sitting up straighter and wills himself into sounding calm, but he knows his words drip with concern and worry. 

“Nothing, it’s just, Penny can’t sleep because of the thunder, and I swear I tried everything, the nightlamp, tea, signing to her, letting her sleep in your bed, but every time there’s a thunder, she flinches and goes back to crying,” Liam explains. 

It’s hard to explain what it feels like. The words coming out of Liam’s mouth. Because, for one, he knows how scared his daughter is of thunder, how it causes sleepless nights and nightmares, and it’s like his heart is being ripped out of his chest, he just doesn’t want her to feel that way. And the second thing is overwhelming, all-consuming guilt. If he were home, if he wouldn’t have gone out with Harry, he could make sure she’s alright. 

“She won’t stop asking for you,” Liam adds quietly. 

“Yeah, okay, I’m coming. Are you with her right now?” Louis asks, already scrambling to his feet. Harry looks at him concerns, and mouths, “What’s going on?” 

“Yeah,” Liam says, the same time Louis says to Harry, “I need to get home.”

Harry follows after him to the front door, hands clasped together. 

“Hey, I’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. It’s just that Penny is awfully scared of thunder and I _know_ she’s old enough to handle it, but if Liam says it’s bad, then it’s bad, and I – I need to make sure she’s okay,” he tells him as he wriggles into his shoes. The soles are muddy and squawk a little from the water. 

“I get it, okay? Do what you need to do and then call me or something, it’s fine,” he replies and shrugs. Louis can tell that he’s a little disappointed by the face he makes, but he doesn’t mention it. 

“I will, I promise. And thank you for tonight, I had a great time,” he says and presses a kiss to Harry’s cheek, the adrenaline in his blood making him feel braver than usual. 

“Me too. Drive safe, you’re no use to anyone if you end up in a ditch because you’re speeding during a Noachian flood.” 

*** 

It doesn’t stop raining for the next two days. When he got home that night, he went straight to bed to Penelope, cuddling her and telling her stories until she finally fell asleep. He called Harry the next morning, apologizing again, and then they just talked. 

To be honest, having an energetic five-year-old locked up in a three-bedroom apartment for two whole days is not the best thing that has ever happened to Louis, and by Sunday evening, she’s basically bouncing off the walls. 

It probably has something to do with Dani being back in town, she called during dinner to let them know they’re back and that she’ll pick Penelope up from school the next day to spend some time with her. 

When she’s finally clean and in bed, tucked in and fast asleep, Louis stretches himself out on the couch. His fingers tap Harry’s number before he can stop them. 

“Hi,” Harry says softly. 

“Hi,” Louis repeats, “Is it normal for primary school students to ask you why they are on this earth?” 

Harry snorts, “She asked that?” 

“Yeah,” he rubs a hand over his face to rid himself off the tiredness creeping in, “I was handing her her dinner, and she went ‘Daddy, why am I here?’, so I said ‘Because it’s raining outside’, you know, because she’d been complaining about that all weekend, and _then_ she goes ‘No, I mean, why am I on this earth?’ I swear, H, I saw my entire life flash in front of my eyes. What does one reply to that?” 

“I don’t know, what did you say?” He asks. 

“Nothing, I scrambled my way out of it. And then she knocked over her cup, so I was busy cleaning up the mess and she forgot about it,” Louis explains. With a grunt, he gets up again to tackle the mess that his living room is. 

“What are you doing?” Harry asks at the background noise. 

“Just tidying up a bit. How’s your day been?” 

Harry launches into a detailed explanation of his current project, something about forest preservation and Louis listens to his voice, syllables blending into each other, while he puts away toys and folds laundry. Whenever he doesn’t quite get something, he asks him to explain, but apart from that, he’s content just listening. 

“And yours?” He asks when he finishes. 

“The usual. Grading exams, setting up lesson plans, getting abducted by a dragon and then being saved by Her Royal Highness, Knight Tomlinson,” he says and a smile tugs at his lips when he thinks about Penelope being indignant about the fact that knights have royal titles, no matter what Google says. 

“Sounds like fun. Any injuries from the dragon?” Harry asks, and Louis can hear him smiling. His heart jumps a little because he’s going along with it instead of being annoyed by him talking about Penelope all day long. 

Louis folds the last piece of clothing, a floral dress with puff sleeves, and says, “My pride is a little scratched up, if anything. I had to sit under our kitchen table for at least ten minutes, guarded by a plush dragon.” 

Harry’s laugh rings through the telephone, “I would very much love to see that.” 

“I know you do, which is why you’re not allowed to attend any playdates.”

The sentence just sits there for a minute, neither of them saying anything. He can hear Harry breathing through the speaker, but apart from that, the line is pretty much dead. Shit, he probably shouldn’t have said that. The ground rules he put up last week are still very much valid and joking about it seems a little unfair. 

“Sorry,” he clears his throat, “Anyway. Dani’s back and Penny will be with her all day tomorrow, so if you’re free we could, I don’t know, do something together?” 

“Oh,” Harry’s voice noticeably lights up at that, “Yeah, I’d love that. I’ll be done at work between four and five, I think.” 

“Perfect. I have classes until four, I could pick you up or something?” 

They make plans to do something low-key, and then hang up because Harry won’t stop yawning and Louis is knackered as well. When he falls asleep an hour later, his last thought is of dimples and green eyes. 

*** 

Against what they’d planned the previous day, Louis doesn’t pick Harry up from work, but they meet in the city park instead. After three days of rain, the sky finally cleared up and the sun is peeking through, pleasantly warming Louis’ face. 

Harry swings their hands between them, and Louis smiles happily up at him. Right now, everything seems so easy. Holding hands with him feels easy, eating ice cream with him feels easy. Harry makes it easy _for_ him, for him to not shy away and let someone else be in charge for once. 

After five years of being so scared, terrified actually, of letting someone in, it’s so simple with him, Louis doesn’t dare trusting it completely. 

He’s about to comment on a story Harry is telling, when he spots a little girl in a teal dress with white lilies printed on it on one of the swings of the playground they’re walking past. He immediately recognizes that it’s Penelope. It’s the dress he folded last night, and she’d begged for twenty minutes this morning to put it on, even though it’s still not warm enough. He made her wear tights and a long-sleeved shirt underneath it, much to her dismay. Beside her, Dani is leaning against the construction of the swing, laughing. 

“Shit,” Louis mutters, and tugs at Harry’s hand. He ducks his head and speeds up his steps until they’re almost running, and then cuts through people picnicing on the lawn. 

“What are you doing?” Harry asks, laughing. 

With a quick look over his shoulder Louis makes sure that Penelope didn’t see him, and then lets himself slump down on the grass. Harry follows suit, sitting so close to him that their arms touch from shoulder to elbow and their knees knock into each other. 

“Sorry. I saw Penelope with Dani and panicked,” Louis says, running a hand over his face, “I should’ve known that they’d be here, Dani lives just around the corner and this is Penny’s favorite park.” 

Harry’s face does a weird twitchy-thing, and then he tries to smile, but Louis can tell it’s forced. 

“So we’re hiding from your daughter?” 

“Harry,” Louis says softly, and takes his hand again, intertwining their fingers. 

“No, I’m sorry. It’s okay. Your daughter, your rules,” he sighs, and when he looks at Louis, he seems to have caught himself, his face showing nothing but understanding. 

“It’s just – if she’d seen me, she would’ve wanted to spend time with Dani and me together, and this is about you and me, okay? I’m sorry that there’s always _something_ ,” he says, and leans into Harry. 

“Stop apologizing, Louis. It’s okay. I knew what I was getting myself into,” he replies, and wraps an arm around his waist. 

The thing is, Louis is certain that Harry doesn’t know what he’s getting himself into. Because with him, it’s never just going to be a date or a chill relationship. Having a family isn’t something far off in the future with him, something you’ll maybe talk about in a couple of years. It’s already there, he already has a daughter, and if he wants to be serious about someone, it means that person becoming something along the lines of a parental figure for Penelope at one point, and that’s a lot of pressure for a second date. 

And, fucking hell, Harry is only twenty-three. He could never ask that of him. 

But then he goes and says things like that, and Louis _likes_ him. That’s the worst thing about this. He knows where this is going, at least for him. It’s scary and unsettling and it makes him feel queasy in his stomach when he thinks about it for too long. 

“I can hear your brain buzzing,” Harry comments and pulls him closer, “Stop thinking so much.”   
“Okay,” Louis lets out a sigh. “Okay.” 

He touches his head to Harry’s shoulder for a second, and then Harry lets himself fall back onto his back, stretching out on the lawn. 

Louis looks at him, studies the dimple on his left cheek and the way the sunlight breaks in his hair. He’s wearing a striped sweater, yellow around the neckline and white, red and black on his torso, and it looks so soft and comfortable, Louis thinks he might steal it at one point. It rides up a little when he lies down, exposing soft skin and tattoos. 

He has to mentally slap himself to tear his gaze away and back up to his face. Harry’s eyes are closed, and he looks so relaxed and calm, Louis wants this image of him tattooed into his brain. 

“Stop watching me,” Harry mumbles without opening his eyes. 

“Can’t,” Louis replies quietly, “Has anyone ever told you you’re really pretty?” 

He opens his eyes at that, seeming a little surprised, and props himself up on his elbows. And Louis must be feeling particularly brave that day, because he scoots over, and cups Harry’s face with his hands, his heart beating so loudly, it makes him tremble a little. 

Up close, he’s even more beautiful. His cheekbones, and his skin, and _God_ , his eyes. Louis doesn’t ever want to stop looking at him. 

Harry’s eyes flick down to Louis’ mouth, and then he licks his lips, and that’s it for Louis. He surges forward and catches the moment Harry’s lips fall gently open before he closes his eyes and touches his lips to his. 

It’s soft and warm and there’s a soft tug in his stomach when Harry grips his waist and pulls him closer, onto him. 

When he backs away, Harry smiles. 

Louis sinks down next to him and presses a kiss to his cheek. Harry’s arms wrap around him, pressing Louis to his side, and for a while it feels like they are the only two people in this entire world. 

*** 

“Spit it out,” Louis says, examining Harry’s face. He’s been pulling at his lower lip for the last five minutes, and he doesn’t need to be a psychologist to know that it’s a sign he’s thinking about something. 

It’s Friday night the following week, and Penelope is spending the weekend with her mother, and Harry offered to make him dinner. They’re done with eating by now, the empty plates still between them on the table. 

“You obviously don’t need to tell me,” Harry starts slowly, “but there’s so much I don’t know about you. I know that you used to play the piano and that you can’t stand bananas and that you love brit pop. That sort of stuff. But you never talk about Penelope. I mean, you do, like the funny things she says, you know, but not,” he pauses again, “I’ve waited for you to bring it up, but you didn’t.”

Underneath the table, their feet are linked together, and Harry’s left one twitches as he talks. 

“What do you want to know?” Louis asks, simply because he’s not even sure where to start with all of that. 

“Why does she live with you and not Dani?” 

Louis nods and tries to smile reassuringly, to make sure Harry knows that this is okay, that they can talk about it, “The simple answer is that Dani travels for work, she does these editorials for a magazine, and I don’t. But we made the decision that Penelope would be with me when Dani was still in uni, when we found that she was pregnant.” 

He looks at Harry who is listening intently. 

“Her family wasn’t exactly on board with the pregnancy. And I’m not saying that it wasn’t a shock for mine, but they were more supporting. That was one thing. Another was that I graduated earlier, and I was more content with the idea of having a child than she was. 

“I’m not saying that Dani isn’t a good mother or that she didn’t want Penelope, but she wasn’t ready. It’s hard to explain, I guess, because I wasn’t really expecting to become a dad at twenty, but,” he shrugs, “that’s what happened, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

“We lived together until her first birthday, though. It was easier that way. It was still hard, especially in the beginning. Penny wasn’t a happy baby, if that makes sense. She had some health issues, and some days I was so close to just – running away, I guess. There was university and exams and working two minimum wage jobs to afford everything, and when I came home, Dani was exhausted, and Penny was crying and. It sucked. Sucked balls,” he finishes, and fumbles with the napkin on his lap. 

“Hey, Lou. Look at me. I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Harry says softly, and Louis nods. 

“It’s okay now, but. Her mother wanted us to get married, which was even worse. Like. We weren’t even in a relationship, we haven’t ever been in a relationship, and she wanted us to get married just because Dani got pregnant, like that would’ve solved anything,” he says and remembers almost going along with it. There was so much pressure, and he already felt like all of that was his fault, and if his own mother wouldn’t have talked some sense into him, he’d probably be a married man right now. Or a divorced one. 

“Hold on, you weren’t in a relationship with Dani?” Harry asks, and the _but how did she get pregnant, then?_ hangs in the air between them. 

If they’re already doing this, he can just tell him everything, Louis decides. 

“No. She broke up with her boyfriend and I was going through an identity crisis, and we were both _really_ drunk, and nine months later we had a daughter,” he says dryly. 

“Fuck,” Harry says, and Louis feels it in every fiber in his body as if he’s twenty again, staring at the positive pregnancy test. 

“Yeah. It was a mess. We were friends before that, I think that’s the only reason we’re managing this whole co-parenting thing sort of well,” he says, giving another shrug. 

“Can I ask one more question? I promise I’m done after that one,” Harry says, a sheepish look on his face. Louis shifts to lean forward and places a hand on top of Harry’s, “You don’t have to ask. You deserve answers, because you’re with me despite of it all and I know it’s a lot to ask from you.” 

“You’re not asking a lot, Lou, you just want to make sure your daughter is safe and happy, that’s very understandable.” 

“What’s you question?” He asks and squeezes his hand. 

“You said Dani just broke up with her boyfriend before that thing with you and her happened…” Harry trails off in the middle of the sentence. 

Louis swallows hard, ignoring the bitter taste in the back of his mouth, “You want to know how I’m sure that she’s really mine.” 

It’s not a question. Louis knows for a fact that this is what he’s asking, and it’s hard not to feel offended by it, it’s sort of a disrespectful question. 

Harry nods, and Louis clears his throat, “In order to both get parental responsibility my name had to be on the birth certificate too, and Dani’s OB did a paternity test. I don’t know if they always do that or if Dani told him she wasn’t sure.” 

“Okay. Thank you for telling me all of that,” Harry says. 

“It’s okay. I’m glad I did.” 

*** 

“Dad?” Penelope asks, and Louis looks up from the book he’d been reading to her. 

She’s nuzzled into his shirt, dark curls in contrast against white cotton, and he’d been hoping that she was on the verge of dozing off. To his regret, she sounds very much awake. 

“What’s up, bug?” 

“Did someone hit you with a Nerf gun?” 

“A what?” Louis asks, confused, but then her little fingers touch the side of his neck, and. Shit. 

He was wearing a turtleneck all day to hide a small, but very obvious, hickey from his friends, coworkers and daughter, but took it off when he was cooking dinner. 

“You know, the ones with the orange darts,” she says, and Louis has to muster up all of his self-control in order to not sigh or groan or jump out of a window. 

“Right. I think it was something like that,” he says, and pets her hair. 

It was nothing like that. It involved half a bottle of wine, Harry’s mouth and tongue and definitely no Nerf gun. He shakes his head to get rid of the memory and the flush creeping up his neck. 

“D’you want me to finish reading?” 

“Yes, please,” she says and yawns, and a fond smile takes over Louis’ face. 

When he shuts the door to Penelope’s room later, he shoots Harry a text. 

_If anyone asks, my hickey was caused by a Nerf gun._. 

*** 

Over the next two months, Louis spends every single minute he’s not with Penelope with Harry. And day by day, the guilt he was feeling in the beginning slowly subsides and makes place for butterflies and bubbles of happiness. He eventually stops checking his phone all the time and lets himself appreciate the time he has off. 

With Harry, Louis feels like he can let go for once, like he doesn’t have to be the responsible one anymore. They do paintball with Harry’s friends and go to pub nights and movie marathons with Niall and Liam, and it seems like Louis’ world isn’t teetering on the edge to some abyss anymore . Like he’s safe. 

And when Harry introduces him to his friends as his boyfriend one day, Louis grins and squeezes his hand and kisses him long and deep at the first possibility. And when Harry wants him to spend the night, he usually does and sleeps like a rock, curled up in his arms. 

And when Dani asks how he and Harry are doing, Louis tells her about how Harry makes breakfast for him on weekends that he spends at Harry’s, and about dates to museums and going indoor rock climbing – something Louis hasn’t ever heard of before. 

“Hey,” Louis says one evening and sits up in Harry’s bed, “Can I ask you something?” 

“Sure,” Harry replies and sits down at the edge of the mattress. He’s wearing nothing but grey sweatpants and his hair is still damp from the shower he just took. 

“Are you happy? With us?” 

It’s a loaded question, he knows that. But he needs to know, needs to make sure that it isn’t just him. 

“Yes. Shit, of course I am, why would you think I’m not?” He asks, and there’s a frown pulling at his eyebrows. 

“Haz, you spend _so much_ time making sure I’m happy and that I’m comfortable, and I need to do the same,” Louis says and pulls a pillow onto his lap, hugging it. 

“But I _am_ happy,” Harry emphasizes and shuffles closer, putting a hand on Louis’ knee. 

“You’re sure?” Louis asks, and Harry rolls his eyes at him. 

“Yes. What’s gotten into you?” 

Nothing, really. It’s not as if there are doubts wandering around in his mind, but there’s this inkling he has. That Harry might not be telling him everything. His left eyebrow twitches when he talks, it usually only does that when Harry’s trying to talk himself out of something. 

Like that day when they went to the planetarium and Harry took a picture of the projections even though there were signs everywhere that prohibited you from doing that, and later on a security guard made a joke about it and Harry’s eyebrow twitched. 

It’s twitching right now. 

“You can tell me, you know,” he says instead of explaining his eyebrow-theory to him. 

“It’s just that – it’s been almost three months, yes? And I haven’t even been inside of your apartment,” Harry finally admits. 

There it is. There it fucking is. Louis knew it was coming, but he didn’t expect it to knock the wind out of him like this. 

“You know that – I told you –,” he stumbles over his own words and takes a deep breath. He needs to focus, to regroup. 

“We both know that this isn’t just about Penelope,” Harry says softly, his thumb drawing circles onto Louis’ knee. 

“ _Of course it is_ ,” Louis argues, stress boiling up in him. 

“But it’s not. You’re not just afraid of her getting hurt, you’re scared that you’ll get hurt, too,” he says, still keeping his voice low and even. Somehow, it infuriates Louis. 

“And what about it? Is that not normal?” 

“It is, but you need to start trusting me,” Harry says sternly. 

Louis scoffs, “I do trust you, what are you talking about?” 

“This right here,” Harry gestures at the two of them, “We can’t even have an honest conversation without you getting all defensive!” 

It makes him a horrible person, but he feels something satisfactory welling up in his gut when he realizes that Harry’s blood is starting to boil as well. 

“That has nothing to do with one another!” 

“It does, Lou. Why can’t you just trust me? Stop being afraid that I’ll bolt at the first possibility, because I won’t,” Harry says. He looks at him expectantly, hoping for Louis to finally crack and let someone else take care of him, but he doesn’t. Of course, he doesn’t. 

“That’s not it, I _know_ you’re here now. But what about in, I don’t know, five years from here? It doesn’t matter if you bolt in five weeks or five years, because I’ll have to pick up the pieces either way,” Louis says, and his voice comes out booming, even though he doesn’t want it to. 

“You say that like it’s inevitable that I’ll leave!” 

“Harry. I come with a thousand fucking strings attached. It’s not just me, and not even Penelope. It’s Dani’s entire family, because they’ll always be part of my life and it’s – Most of my future is already mapped out by the mere fact that I already have a daughter. That’s not something you can easily fit into.” 

“I don’t fucking care about _easy_ , fuck easy. I don’t need it. And just because it’ll be hard somedays doesn’t mean that it won’t work out. But it’s starting to feel like you don’t want it to,” Harry says, and his voice is so defeated, Louis’ heart breaks into two even halves, right through the middle. 

“That’s not true,” Louis whispers, because it’s not. He wants him in his life, he wants them to work out. 

“Then why, Louis, tell me, why haven’t I ever been at your apartment? Does Penelope even know you have a boyfriend? Does your family know?” 

“It’s not that easy, Harry. You know that,” Louis says, but he knows Harry is right. 

“Huh,” Harry lets out a breath, and it comes out as a shudder, broken. “Big fucking thanks, Louis.” 

They’re both quiet, so quiet that Louis can hear the low buzz of his laptop charger and the dishwasher rumbling in the kitchen. 

“Do you know what I don’t get?” Harry speaks up after a while, and his eyes are shiny, as if he’s trying hard to hold back tears. Louis swallows hard, but the lump in his throat stays where it is. 

“You always act like it’s hard for someone else to commit to you. All I’ve done, ever since we met, was try and prove to you that I’m ready to do that. But in the end, you’re the one that’s not ready to commit. So, don’t fucking blame this on me.” 

Harry’s voice is steady when he talks, quiet, but steady. He shakes his head at Louis, and then gets up, “I’m sleeping on the couch. Goodnight, Louis.” 

*** 

“You look terrible,” Danielle greets him at the door to her apartment. 

“Thank you, you too,” Louis mumbles, pushing past her. He left Harry’s that morning with barely any sleep and without really talking to him. He tried to, but Harry pushed him off. He can’t blame him. 

“No, seriously, what’s going on with you?” She asks, trailing after him into the living room. 

“Nothing. I’ll just pick up Penny and then I’ll be out of your way,” he says. He really doesn’t need to talk about his fight with Harry with her. Although she’s probably the only one that would understand him to a certain degree. 

“She’s in her room with Nick,” she says, and then adds, “You know you can talk to me, right? In case something is wrong.” 

“I know, thanks. I really just want to get home, though,” he sighs. 

“Okay, let me get her for you, alright?” 

It takes five minutes, and then Penelope is running into him, hugging his legs. 

“Daad!” She calls out, “Guess what I made you.” 

Louis’ heart already feels ten times lighter, and he takes the drawing she’s holding up to him. 

“See, that’s you, and that’s Mum, and that’s Nick. And that’s the cat we’ll get next week,” she explains. 

“You’re going through with that?” Louis asks Danielle, one eyebrow raised. 

“Yeah, you know she’s been begging for one for months,” Dani shrugs and smiles. 

“You really _are_ a spoiled princess, aren’t you?” He says to Penelope, who grins back at him, and takes her bag in one hand. “Say bye to Mum and Nick, munchkin. It’s time we get home.” 

*** 

With tumbling nerves in his stomach, Louis sits down next to Penelope on the rug where she’s playing with her stuffed dragon and some knight-figures. 

“Penny? I need to tell you something, and I need you to listen to me and ask whenever you don’t understand something, okay?” He says and it comes out a little throaty. 

It’s that picture she drew. Louis stared at it all the way through dinner and realized that he wants Harry to be on there, too. Because he knows Harry is right. It’s like that movie with Jennifer Lopez where she gets pregnant with twins and just waits for her boyfriend to bolt. In this situation, he is Jennifer Lopez, he noticed. 

The Backup Plan. That’s the movie, and Louis would very much like to _not_ be Jennifer Lopez. 

“Okay,” Penelope says and puts her dragon down, ready to listen to him. 

Louis loves her so much. 

“You know how when you really, really like someone, you just want to be with them?” He starts, not so sure where he’s going with that. 

“Like Mummy and Nick?” Penelope asks, eyes wide. 

“Exactly like Mummy and Nick. But you know that boys don’t always have to like girls, right? Sometimes, boys like boys, too,” he says, heart pounding. 

“Can girls like girls?” She asks, and Louis huffs out a small laugh, “Yes, girls can like girls. Don’t you ever let someone else tell you any different, alright?” 

She nods eagerly, and he takes a deep breath. “So, uhm. I’m your dad, yeah? And I’m always gonna love you, remember that. And Mum loves you too, but she also loves Nick.” 

“Yeah, she married him. She loves him sooo much,” Penelope draws out, stretching her arms out wide. 

“Just like that,” he smiles. “What would you say if I – if I really liked someone else, too?” he finally manages to get out, and he feels like throwing up. This shouldn’t be this hard, he honestly didn’t expect it to be. 

“Well,” she says, and it’s obvious she’s thinking hard about it, “Does she like dragons and dinosaurs?” 

“ _He_ loves dinosaurs, I think,” Louis says, not tearing away his gaze from his daughter’s face. 

“Oh. It’s a boy?” She asks, stopping in her tracks. 

“Yeah,” Louis says, “Remember what we talked about? That boys can like boys? I like a boy. I _really_ like him.” 

“Will you marry him?” She asks, and he almost chokes on his own spit. 

“Not now, no,” he croaks out, “and you don’t need to meet him any time soon if you don’t want to, that’s completely up to you.”

“What’s his name?” 

“Harry.” 

“Like Prince Harry? Is he Prince Harry? Does he look like him?” Penelope splutters and relief hits Louis so hard, he struggles to breathe for a second. 

This is good. This is great. No crying, no screaming, no confusion. 

“No, he’s not, and he doesn’t look like him,” he explains patiently. 

“Okay,” she says, nodding. “Do I have to share my toys with him?” 

“You don’t have to share anything with him, bug. Not even me, you’ll always be my number one, yeah?” He says, fondling with her hair. 

“Okay,” she says again, and it seems like the conversation is over for her, because she gets to her feet and makes her way to chest where Louis keeps all of her toys. 

“Penny, it’s almost bedtime. No new toys,” he says. It earns him a scowl and a stomped foot. 

“Stop pouting,” he pulls her onto his lap, “And give your dad a cuddle.” 

She does, wrapping her little arms tight around his neck. “Love you,” she mumbles, and Louis’ heart flutters happily. 

“Love you the most, little munchkin.” 

*** 

“Hi, this is Louis. Call me back when you can, okay? I need to tell you something,” Louis says. This is the third time he tried to call Harry, but he won’t pick up. 

Louis isn’t quite sure whether he’s just busy at work, or so mad at him that he’s ignoring his calls. Even though he’s hoping it’s the first one, he couldn’t blame Harry if it wasn’t. On Sunday night, after his conversation with Penelope, he called Liam first, because he’s been with him from the very beginning. Louis didn’t give him all the details about their fight, but he sided with Harry anyway. 

It’s not that Louis didn’t see it before, he’s well aware that he has some trust issues. He can blame them on his father and step-dad all he wants, but it boils down to the same thing: It’s hurting his relationship, and it’s hurting Harry, and he needs to change that. 

He needs to apologize. 

Which he would, if Harry would be so kind to pick up his freaking phone. 

“Still no answer?” Niall asks, looking up. He’s sitting on the living room floor, Penelope between his legs, and is trying to braid her hair. Emphasis on trying, because he’s not doing so great. It took Louis forever to even manage ponytails and braiding was even worse, and it makes him feel better that his friends are struggling as well. 

“Nope,” Louis sighs and sinks down next to them. He still has to mark the exams of his 10th graders, but his brain is in no place right now to focus on weird interpretations of Macbeth. 

“You know, you could just go over to his place? He’s probably done with work by now, it’s after five,” Niall suggests and then interrupts himself, cursing under his breath. The strands of hair slipped through his fingers and the braid is already falling apart again. 

Penelope starts giggling, and Niall scolds her for not sitting still and laughing at him, but there’s no malice behind it. 

“I don’t know. I have tons of work, and I can’t leave – “ 

Niall interrupts him, “Can’t leave me alone with Penelope? Please. You’ve left me alone with her ever since she was six months old and I had no clue how to take care of a baby. We’ll be fine, won’t we, Penn?” 

Penelope nods eagerly, and Niall groans again. 

“I think you should give that up, Nialler. Maybe braiding hair just isn’t for you,” Louis laughs, and Niall glares at him. 

“Go get your boyfriend, and by the time you’re back, I swear to my grandmother, your daughter will have perfectly braided hair,” he says confidently, starting from the beginning. 

It’s a wonder Penelope lets him mess with her hair for hours on end when she usually can’t even sit still for the time it takes her to eat lunch. 

“I don’t know,” Louis repeats, pushing a hand through his hair.

“You’re such a coward,” Niall scoffs, “Either you go out of your own will or I’ll personally drive you and stand right next to you while you apologize to him.”

“Okay, okay, I’m going. There’s leftover shepherd’s pie in the fridge, you can just pop that into the oven if I’m not back by half past six. But I’ll try to make it in time,” Louis says, pushing himself up to his feet. 

“Yes, sir. You can stop worrying now, I have done this before, whether you believe it or not,” Niall says. 

“Bye, bug,” Louis says, bending down to kiss Penelope on the top of her head. 

“Bye bye,” she calls. 

*** 

_Open, open, open_ , Louis repeats in his head. He’s staring at the glossy finish of Harry’s front door, not sure what to expect. If he’s mad, or if he’s upset, or if he even wants to talk to him. He doesn’t even know if Harry’s home, but the rumble on the other side of the door suggests that he is. 

The door finally opens and standing before him is Harry. He’s wearing the sweater from their date at the park, and it feels like this is the universe making fun of Louis. 

“Oh. Lou. Hi,” he says, eyebrows raised. His face seems closed off, and. Well. He kind of knew that would happen. 

“Hi. Can I come in?” Louis asks, and Harry nods, stepping aside and opening the door wider. 

“I tried calling you, but you didn’t pick up,” he states as he wanders into the kitchen. It smells like lemon dish soap, and Louis thinks that he probably should have brought him flowers or something. 

Harry shrugs, “Haven’t looked at my phone all day, sorry.” 

“Right,” Louis nods, and he desperately wants this awkwardness to go away, “Can we talk?” 

“Last time you wanted to talk it didn’t end that well,” he says, and Louis has to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He’s obviously still pissed, but a snarky Harry is better than nothing, he decides. 

“I know, I’m sorry,” he starts, “I thought about it, and everything you said is right. You’re right, and I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you then.” 

“But does it change anything?” Harry asks, leaning against the counter with crossed arms. 

“Right now? Probably not. But I promise I’m working on it. I can’t change what happened and I really wish I could, because I know I hurt you.” 

“You can’t just not trust me and then waltz back in two days later and act like nothing ever happened.” 

Louis sighs and carefully takes a step in his direction, “I know, and I’m not trying to do that. I promise, I’m working on it, and I’m pretty sure I’ll make a thousand mistakes along the way, but I really, really want to be with you. And, like you said, fuck easy.” 

Harry meets his eyes for the first time since he entered his apartment, and finally, _finally_ , Louis can tell that his face is growing softer. 

“I don’t need easy, H. I need _you_ , even if it makes everything five times harder, even if it means that I have to deconstruct the entire idea of relationships in my head. You’re so, so good and I don’t want to ruin something that could be great,” he says quietly, and now he’s close enough to touch him, so he does. He places one hand on Harry’s arm, and Harry uncrosses his arms and lets them fall to Louis’ hips. 

“I’m not ready for you to meet Penny yet,” he admits, and he can feel Harry stiffen up a little, “but I told her that I’m dating someone. That I’m dating you, and that I really like you.” 

“What did she say?” Harry asks, relaxing again. 

“She wanted to know whether you like dinosaurs and if you’re Prince Harry. When I told her you’re not, she lost interest pretty quickly,” Louis smiles and pushes one hand into Harry’s hair, toying with his curls. 

“Another disappointed fan, I see. I just _can’t_ live up to His Royal Highness,” Harry smirks, and Louis is overwhelmed by how much he likes him. It’s a wave that goes through his entire body, from the roots of his hair down to his toes. 

He leans up, catching Harry’s lips with his own, and Harry sighs into the kiss. 

“Let’s never fight again,” he murmurs when they break apart, and lets his thumb run over Louis’ lower lip, making him shudder. 

“If that’s what making up feels like, I don’t mind it so much,” Louis whispers and Harry kisses him again. 

*** 

_Is there a way to get Penelope to take medicine?_

Louis frowns at his phone. Another message comes in with a buzz. 

_We already tried putting it in pudding, but she won’t eat it_. 

He looks over to Harry who’s currently napping across from him. They spent the entirety of Saturday outside, and his nose has turned a light shade of red from the sun. It’s hot outside, it seems like summer finally arrived in England. 

He gets up from the couch, kissing Harry’s shoulder quickly and then calls Danielle. 

“Why does Penny need medicine?” He asks and closes the door to Harry’s bedroom behind him to not wake him up. He doubts that his voice will carry all the way into the living room, but better safe than sorry. 

“It’s nothing, just a stomachache,” Dani says, her voice the slightest bit annoyed, “And I’m trying to give one of those pills to her that the doctor prescribed, but she won’t take it. You know how she is.” 

Louis lets out a sigh of relief, “She doesn’t do that thing with the pudding anymore, you can forget about that. She knows it tastes like shit, no matter how much chocolate pudding you dissolve the stuff in.” 

“Thank you, Louis. I haven’t noticed that yet,” Dani deadpans, and Louis rolls his eyes, glad that she can’t see him. 

“She usually just swallows it if you give the pill to her and tell her it’ll make the pain go away. We practiced taking medicine with those little M&M’s a while ago,” he says, going through all of his tricks that work most of the time. 

“Already tried that,” Dani sighs. 

“Bribe her,” Louis suggests, because that always works. 

“I’m not _bribing_ our daughter, Tomlinson! What kind of mother would that make me?” 

“A normal one? I’m serious, everyone has done it. Desperate times call for desperate measure. Give her a sticker or let her watch TV for longer than she’s allowed to if she takes it without complaining.” 

“That’s my last resort, but thank you,” Dani says, and Louis can hear Nick talking to Penelope in the background. 

“No problem. Let me know how she is later, yeah?” 

“Lou, it’s just a stomachache, she has those all the time. It’ll be fine, don’t worry,” she says, and Louis shrugs, “I know. But, you know, she’s my little girl, I’ll always worry.” 

“Go and do something other than worry, Tomlinson. That’s why you have a boyfriend.” 

The door to the bedroom opens, and Harry steps inside, his hair disheveled and he’s obviously stifling a yawn. 

“Everything okay?” He asks, and then yawns anyway. 

Louis hangs up on Danielle and pockets his phone, “I think so. Penny gets stomachaches from time to time and Dani called to ask something about the medicine.” 

“Okay,” Harry hugs him from behind and presses a kiss onto the skin where his neck meets his shoulder, “D’you wanna go out for dinner?”

Louis turns in Harry’s arms to be able to talk to him properly and leans back a little, “Yeah, we could do that. Where do you want to go?” 

“Don’t know. That Indian place down the street?” He asks, and Louis scrunches his nose and shakes his head. Harry laughs quietly, “No Indian food, then. Pizza?” 

“Sounds good. But you can’t eat the tuna one, it smells disgusting.” 

“The things I sacrifice for you, Tomlinson,” Harry sighs dramatically, and Louis snorts before tugging at Harry’s neck, an obvious sign that he wants him to lean down and kiss him. 

When their mouths slot together, warm and wet and everything Louis has ever wanted, he pulls Harry closer into him, the warmth radiating from his body feeling familiar and safe. 

*** 

“Stop laughing, that was very traumatic for me!” Louis calls out, but only receives a bemused look from Harry. He told him about the time in college where he ran headfirst into a glass door after one beer too many, and Harry apparently thinks it’s hilarious. 

“I wish I would’ve seen that, I bet it was like in one of those videos on YouTube,” Harry giggles, and Louis swings their hands between them. 

They’re on their way home from dinner, and the wind is tousling Harry’s hair, and he looks so beautiful, Louis might drop dead there and then because of it. 

“Why doesn’t it surprise me that you watch fail videos on YouTube?” He asks, but he doesn’t hear Harry’s answer because his phone buzzes in his back pocket. 

_Penelope has a slight temperature, she’s sleeping now but I think it might be the flu or something like that. Don’t call, we’re handling this perfectly fine, I just wanted to let you know,_ the text reads. He’s pondering about whether he should be offended by the fact that she specifically told him not to call when Harry pulls him close by wrapping an arm around him. 

Louis decides that Dani is right, she can handle it. It’s not like Penelope hasn’t ever been sick before. And if she really has the flu, he’s going to have to deal with a cranky child for the next week anyway, so it’s just fair that he gets to chill right now. 

He lets himself relax into Harry’s side as they keep walking and listens to him tell a story about one of his friends from work that apparently got married on a boat, but then the bride got seasick. Or something like that. 

*** 

“Make it stop,” Harry grumbles into the crook of Louis’ neck, and he has to blink a few times to get his brain to work properly again. 

It’s the middle of the night, and a blue-ish hue soaks through the curtains of Harry’s bedroom, and why is he awake? 

The sound of a phone buzzing on the bedside table solves the mystery for him, and he carefully removes Harry’s arm from his waist to reach it without waking him up any further. 

“Hello?” He asks in a muffled tone without bothering to check who’s calling. He’s so tired. So, so tired. 

“Louis? We’re on our way to the hospital, Penny’s fever is only going up and she started throwing up pretty badly,” Dani’s voice tells him, but he can’t actually grasp the words she’s saying. 

_Hospital_. 

_Throwing up._

Fever. 

“What?” Louis asks, sitting up and rubbing his face, trying to wake himself up. 

“I don’t know, she keeps gagging and her forehead is seriously burning up,” Dani says, sounding hectic. He can feel the color draining from his face as his heart jumps. It’s the worst fucking feeling. 

“Shit. Okay, yeah. Tell her I’ll be there in a second, okay? Which hospital are you going to?” 

Danielle tells her the name and Louis punches it into his keyboard until Google spits out the right address, then he gets out of bed, almost tripping over the duvet. 

His cursing is enough to wake Harry up as well, and he musters Louis with squinting eyes as he squeezes himself into his jeans and puts on the first shirt he can get a hold of. 

“What’s going on?” Harry asks, voice still covered in sleep. 

“Penelope… They’re going to the hospital, shit, I don’t know,” Louis stumbles over the words while simultaneously patting down the pockets of his trousers. 

“Shit, have you seen my keys? Fucking fuck, where the fuck are they? I need to, I need to go. Now. Fucking hell.” 

“I’ll drive you,” Harry says, already out of bed and getting dressed. 

During the entire drive, Louis doesn’t say a word. His mind keeps spinning and spinning, and he’s afraid he might throw up. His little girl is in the hospital, and he doesn’t know what’s wrong with her, and he’s not there _with_ her, and. He doesn’t know what else. This is all too fucking much. 

Harry taps the steering wheel with his thumbs in front of a stoplight, and it’s driving Louis nuts. So does the noise of the indicator. He could rip his skin off, he feels so uncomfortable and stressed and _worried_. 

“Hey. She’s going to be fine,” Harry says softly as he takes a turn to the left and the hospital finally comes into view. 

Louis nods. He needs to calm down, he can’t go in there like this, it would only make things worse. 

Harry pulls into the parking lot and then shifts into park, leans back and looks at Louis with a serious look on his face, “Call me when you need anything, yeah? A ride home, someone to talk to, if you need me to get something from your place for her. Anything.” 

“Wait,” Louis stops in his tracks, he was about to get out of the car, “You’re not coming in with me?” 

He shakes his head and takes Louis’ hand, “I know you want me to come with you for emotional support and all that, and I wish I could, but we both know this isn’t how you’d want Penny to meet me.” 

Louis gapes at him. He didn’t even think about that. 

“She’s in the hospital, Lou, and she’s probably already scared enough. She doesn’t need a stranger right now, okay? She needs her dad.”

_I love you_ , is all Louis can think of. 

Realization hits him like a truck, knocking the air out of his lungs. This is the worst possible situation to have this kind of revelation, so he doesn’t say anything, just stares at Harry. At his bedhead, hair sticking out in every direction, and he’s wearing socks that don’t match and Louis thinks he might have put on his shirt the wrong way, and he _loves him_. 

“Call me, okay?” Harry says, squeezes his hand one more time before he lets go of it, a sign for Louis to get out of the car. 

And, right. Penelope. 

“Thank you,” he says, gets out and jogs into the emergency room. 

Given the fact that it’s two in the morning, it’s relatively crowded but Louis makes a beeline for the front desk, trying to catch the nurse’s attention. 

“I’m looking for Penelope Tomlinson? Her mother must have brought her in?” He asks, and his voice is a little shaky. 

The nurse examines him over the black frame of her glasses, “Are you related to her?” 

“Yeah,” he nods, “I’m the dad. Can I see her?” 

While she types something into her tablet, he waits impatiently, drumming on the counter of the front desk. His eyes flick around the room, but he can’t spot Nick, Dani or Penelope. 

“Your daughter is currently with one of our doctors, you have to wait until examination is over,” she says, not looking up from the desktop.

“What? But, but I _need_ to see her,” he argues, a wave of hot fear rolling over him. He can’t just sit around and do nothing. 

“I’m sorry, Sir. The only thing I can do for you right now is show you the waiting room closest to the surgery. I can assure you your daughter is in the best hands and that her mother is with her.” 

“This is my _daughter_ ,” Louis tries, but the nurse just shakes her head. 

“I’m sorry, but it’s hospital policy. You can wait down the hall, she’s in room number 16,” she says, her voice kind, but Louis still very much wants to punch someone. 

*** 

If it wasn’t for Harry, Louis would probably be losing his mind right now. He _is_ losing his mind right now, but texting Harry makes it more bearable. 

The waiting is horrendous, his back hurts from the uncomfortable chairs and the bright lights make his head ache, and all he wants is to see Penelope, but the door stays closed for the next twenty minutes. 

Every time he hears a door open or shut, he flinches and looks around, hoping to see a familiar face. If he only knew what was going on, it’d make it so much easier. But with every passing minute, he can feel his heart sink further and further. 

If it was only a stomach flu or something, she’d surely be done by now, right? 

He’s about to just get up and barge into room #16 when the door _finally_ opens, and he can hear Dani’s voice, talking to the doctor and thanking him. 

Louis jumps up from his chair. Nick is holding Penelope’s hand, and her face is pale and has a greenish tinge, but she’s standing on her own two feet and Louis is so, so relieved. He feels twenty kilos lighter when he makes his way over to them and crouches down in front of her. 

“Hi baby,” he says softly, “How are you feeling?” 

When he gently strokes her cheek, he notices that she really is burning up. 

“Not good,” she mumbles, her eyes a little drowsy, and Louis hugs her tight to his chest, “It’s okay, bug, I’m here now, yeah?” 

“She wouldn’t stop asking for you,” Nick says, and Louis looks up to him in surprise. 

“The nurses didn’t let me go in, I’ve been waiting outside the entire time,” he explains and picks Penny up so he can actually talk to Nick without breaking his neck in the process. 

“But you’re the father,” Nick says, his face confused. 

“I know, I didn’t get it either. Shit, I was worried to death,” he says, and gently bounces Penny in his arms. Her hands are clasped tight into his sweatshirt, and he just now notices how tired he is. 

“Okay, so. We can take her home, she doesn’t need to stay over night,” Dani joins them and Louis watches as she leans into Nick and lets out a heavy sigh and closes her eyes for a second. Her face is a perfect mirror of the tumult of feelings that rumble through Louis as well. 

“What did the doctor say?” Louis asks. 

“Stomach flu caused by a bacterial infection. We’re supposed to watch how much fluids she loses, and she needs to take antibiotics, but she should be getting better in the next few days. I’m sorry we caused such a panic, it just seemed pretty bad,” Dani apologizes. 

“Hey, it’s okay. I probably would’ve done the same,” Louis says, and adds after a second, “Do we need to pick the meds up anywhere?” 

“No, he already gave them to me, we’re good to go,” Dani says, and they make their way towards the exist. 

“Dad?” Penelope’s voice is so small, he almost misses it over the noise of wailing ambulance sirens. 

“Yeah?” 

“’Wanna go home,” she whispers. 

“Of course, bug, of course. We’ll go home now, I promise,” he reassures her and turns to Dani, “Would that be okay? I know it’s technically still your weekend, but we can make up for it next week or something.” 

“Oh, for sure. Are you here with your car?” She asks. 

“Ugh, no,” Louis groans, “It’s still at Harry’s. I can call a taxi or something, though.”

“Don’t be stupid, Tomlinson,” Nick chimes in, “We’re driving you.”

*** 

Louis takes the following week off from work to look after Penny. His students are delighted at first, until he makes them write essays and send them to him so they have something to do and he can get a few extra grades in. 

He has to take Penny to her doctor two more times, one time for an IV so she doesn’t dehydrate and one time for different antibiotics, but with every day, the color returns to her face and her energy levels rise. 

The first time she wants to play instead of watch TV or have Louis read to her, Louis is so happy, he might actually start crying. 

“Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad – “ 

“ _Penny._ ” 

He might start crying now, too, but not because he’s happy. After six days of worrying, Penelope is almost perfectly healthy again, and obviously very bored. Usually, he doesn’t mind it when she distracts him from working or wants attention, but she’s been a little nag all day. 

“You’re mean,” she decides and stops her foot as if it’s going to change anything. 

“I told you that I have to work for a bit, I’m sorry. Why don’t you go and play with your legos?” 

“I don’t wanna play alone, it’s boring,” she pouts, “Why can’t you play with me?” 

“Penelope, enough. I have to work, so be a good girl and find something to do on your own for a while, okay?” 

“Can I watch TV?” 

“You haven’t done anything else all week,” he says. At this rate, he doesn’t even need to start working before he has to make dinner. 

She stomps her foot another time and then storms out of Louis’ office, causing him to sigh and roll his eyes. He loves her, he really does, but sometimes raising a child on your own is hard. 

He gets through half the essays he had his students send him until his phone rings with a facetime call from Harry. Louis feels a pang of guilt in his chest, he hasn’t been the best boyfriend this week. They haven’t seen each other since the night Penelope had to go to the emergency room and Louis had his Capital R Revelation, and even phone calls and texts were sparse. 

He taps the green button, and a pixelated Harry takes over his phone screen, hair in messy curls and a soft smile on his lips, and Louis’ heart twists at the sight of him. 

“Oh my God, you picked up. Is it really you? I was afraid I wouldn’t recognize my own boyfriend anymore,” Harry teases, and Louis bites his lip and shakes his head at him, “Shut up.” 

“What are you doing?” Harry asks, and there’s some rustling as he settles down on what Louis identifies as his sofa. 

“Grading essays, it’s terrible,” Louis complains, but he might be exaggerating a little. Ever since the pop quiz fiasco a few months back, his students have gotten their shit together and usually hand in decent work. 

“You don’t have the right to complain, you’ve been hanging out at home all week.” 

“True,” he nods, and watches Harry scrunch up his nose in a very endearing way. 

“Which means I haven’t seen you all week, and I miss your face,” Harry says, lips quirking up into a smile. 

“Being corny, are we?” Louis smirks, and adds in a more serious tone, “I’m sorry about that. I promise I’ll make it up to you.” 

“Speaking of her, how’s Penelope doing?” 

“Oh, you know, back to her usual self. Won’t let me have a single minute of peace whatsoever,” he jokes, and he knows it’s obvious how relieved he is about it. 

“She just loves you,” Harry says, and a fond expression takes over his entire face, softening its chiseled lineaments, and all Louis can think is _I love you, I love you, I love you._

Something rattles in the living room, and Louis jumps a little at the noise. 

“Hold on, H, I need to check on whatever just fell over. Let’s pray it’s not a certain five-year-old,” he says, gets up and takes his phone with him.

In the living room, everything seems fine, except for a knocked over vase on the coffee-table. Flowers are scattered across it, and water drips steadily out of a puddle onto the floor. Beside the table, Penelope is staring at it, her eyes wide in shock. 

When she spots Louis standing in the hallway, her lower lip starts to quiver, and she starts furiously flushing in a way that resembles Danielle when she’s utterly embarrassed by something. 

“I’m sorry, Daddy, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to, I swear! Matty just slipped out of my hand,” she splutters, pointing accusatory at a plush cow. 

“Hold on one second,” Louis says to his phone, and then goes over to where his daughter is standing, looking very sorry and ashamed. 

“Please don’t be mad, Da,” she says quietly, and Louis sighs heavily, “I’m not mad, honey. Look, the vase isn’t even broken. We only need to get a towel to wipe up the water and put the flowers back.” 

He puts his phone onto the coffee table, ignoring the fact that Harry has to watch his living room ceiling now, and wipes Penelope’s tears away, “Accidents happen, Penny. We only need to learn how to fix them, yeah? Why don’t you pick up the vase and the flowers while I get a towel?” 

She nods, sniffles a little and then juts out her chin confidently and starts picking up one tulip after the other. 

It doesn’t take too long until everything is clean again, and when Louis comes back with a watering pot to refill the vase, Penelope is watching his phone curiously, “Who are you talking to?” 

Shit. He almost forgot about Harry still being on the other end of the call. Well, maybe he hung up, he couldn’t blame him. 

“You remember when I told you about Harry?” He asks her, testing the waters carefully. 

Her face lights up, “Oh, yeah. The boy you like. Not-prince Harry. Can I talk to him?” 

“Uhm,” Louis clears his throat. What? No one ever prepared him for this kind of situation. “Sure?” It comes out like a question. 

“Harry, are you still there?” He asks, picking up his phone. The screen only shows a corner of Harry’s kitchen, but he can hear the tap running in the background, so he didn’t hang up. 

“Yup, I’m here. Sorry, I was just getting a glass of water,” he appears back in the frame, said glass in his left hand. 

“I kind of have someone that wants to talk to you, if that’s okay,” he says, glancing over at Penelope who is watching him closely. 

“Oh,” Harry pauses, and then smiles, “Yeah, sure. I’d love to talk to her.” 

Before Louis can say or do anything else, Penelope grabs his phone out of his hands and makes a beeline for her room, yelling, “Thanks, Dad,” over her shoulder and then slams the door behind her. 

That girl. If he’s bald before he turns thirty, he wouldn’t be surprised. 

Penelope triumphantly hands his phone back to him twenty minutes later while he’s peeling potatoes for dinner. No one has to know that he only started making dinner as a way to distract himself. 

“Thanks, bub,” he says to her, takes the phone and props it up against a cookbook so he can keep on cooking while talking to Harry at the same time. 

As soon as she’s left the kitchen, he turns back to the phone, “What were you talking about for so long?” 

“Sorry, can’t tell you. She made me pinky-promise not to tell you,” Harry smiles sheepishly. 

“Pinky-promises don’t count over facetime. Your pinkies weren’t even touching, it’s invalid. Tell me,” Louis argues, but he knows it’s a lost cause. If Harry sets his mind to something, there’s no way to change it, _that_ he knows. 

“I’m not breaking the first promise I ever made to your daughter, Tomlinson. That’d make me, like, number one on her hit list.” 

“Harry, she’s five, she doesn’t have a _hit list_ ,” Louis snorts. 

“Let it go, babe,” Harry says softly, “I’m not telling you. But she’s lovely, not that I ever doubted that. You’re doing a great job at being a dad.” 

_I love you, I love you, I love you_ , Louis’ brain chants again. He really needs to tell him. 

“Thanks, H.” 

They talk about making plans for the next weekend, and about summer coming up, and Louis promises Harry to spend the entirety of the two weeks that Penelope will be away with Dani and Nick with him. 

“Harry?” Louis says, right when they’re about to hang up. 

“Yeah?” He asks, and the look on his face makes Louis want to be next to him, cuddled into the crook of his neck, and kiss him. 

“I miss you too.” 

*** 

“What’s this I hear about Penelope meeting Harry?” Liam asks a few nights later. Penny had demanded to see her uncles – even though they’re not really her uncles – as soon as she was cleared to go back to school, so Louis had given in and invited Liam and Niall over for dinner. The food is long gone, and Penny is asleep, and it’s just the three of them lounging in the living room with a beer each. 

“Stop being friends with my child,” Louis says and takes a sip. When he looks up, Niall and Liam are still looking at him expectantly, and he groans and lets his head fall back, “She hasn’t met him yet, not technically. But we were facetiming one evening and she basically stole my phone and talked to him for a while.” 

“What were they talking about?” Niall asks. 

Louis shrugs, “They both refuse to tell me, but it’s alright. It’s sort of sweet, isn’t it?” 

“You’re in for trouble, Tommo,” Niall snorts, “Haven’t even met each other and they’re already conspiring against you.” 

“Shut up,” Louis laughs and takes a swig of beer. Liam, who has been awfully quiet, clears his throat, “I think it’s a good sign that she’ll be okay with you having someone else in your life. When you started dating him, I was a little worried that it’d be hard for her to adjust. You know, because you’re her favorite person on this earth.” 

He’s right, and that’ll always be something he takes great pride in. It was the same for him when he grew up, his mother is his best friend to this day, and if he and Penny have even a remotely similar relationship, it’s his greatest accomplishment.

“You’re the fucking reason I even went out with him,” Louis accuses him, but Liam shrugs, “Worked out well, I’d say. You should thank me.” 

“I hate you so much,” Louis groans, and Liam and Niall laugh, and he knows that when he’ll go to bed, there’ll be a text from Harry waiting on his phone, telling him to sleep well. And if Liam is right about anything, it’s that everything worked out well. 

*** 

“Okay, hear me out,” Louis mumbles into the soft skin of Harry’s neck, and upon an inner compulsion, he presses a kiss right there before he keeps on talking, “Penelope comes back the day before her birthday, right? And she’s been begging for a bunk bed for ages now, and I was thinking that I’d redo her room as a surprise.” 

Harry lazily runs his fingertips along Louis’ arm as he listens to him, from the inside of his elbow up his upper arm, to his shoulder, over his collarbone and back, and Louis sighs happily. 

“I bet she’d love that,” Harry muses and shifts in the bed, turning to look at him, “Want me to help you?” 

Louis hums in agreement, “I know I told you we’d spend the time she’s away together, and even though you have two left hands, it can’t be that hard to assemble a bunk bed.” 

“Excuse me,” Harry cries in mock offense and pushes Louis off of him, “I am very good with my hands. _You_ of all people should know that.” 

“I hate you so fucking much, Harold,” Louis cry-laughs, but it comes out muffled because he’s hiding his face in his hands, “Why are you like this.” 

Harry starts jabbing at Louis’ waist and Louis tries swatting his hands away, but he keeps missing them, so he kicks into Harry’s shins, cackling when he finally gives up and collapses on top of Louis. 

“Ugh, you’re heavy,” he complains, but doesn’t try to push him off. If he were to be smothered to death, he’d very much like it to be at Harry’s hands. 

“All your fault,” Harry presses a kiss onto Louis’ cheek, “Who know you had not one, not two, but _three_ drawers of candy? It’s not like I could resist that.” 

“In my defense, I need it to bribe my daughter into watching Disney movies with me. Turns out there are only so many times she agrees to watch _Hercules_ out of free will. Hence the candy.”

“I’ll watch it with you,” Harry offers, and Louis thinks _I love you_. This is getting ridiculous. He could just say it right now, and he’s pretty sure Harry would say it back. And even if he didn’t, Louis is sure he’d be fine. But still. 

So he just leans in to kiss him, and mumbles, “I’d like that,” right before their mouths slot together. 

*** 

As it turns out, assembling a bunk bed really _is_ harder than Louis initially expected it to be. 

After painting the walls, one in light turquoise, the other three white, with the help of Liam and Niall, it took Harry and Louis three entire days to put the bed together. Well, there might have been a few interruptions due to Harry wearing freaking _overalls_. A distraction of the best kind. 

“And you’re _sure_ it’s safe?” Louis asks for what must be the tenth time today, thinking that he should have just hired someone to do it professionally. 

“Yes,” Harry answers for the tenth time and walks over to Louis to wrap an arm around him, “It won’t collapse, I promise.” 

“Well. It looks sturdy, at least,” he says and takes a step back to look at their work. The bunk bed is made out of white wood and has boards all around to protect Penelope from falling out. It’s just high enough that Louis can’t look into it without getting up on his tip toes. Harry still can, which is just unfair. 

Harry also petitioned to get a higher one with a slide, but Louis vetoed that. He distinctly remembers reading a children’s book once where the girl had one of those bunk beds with a slide and slammed right into her closet and broke her leg, and there’s no way in hell he’ll invite such a death trap into his own home. 

They put a small couch under the bed, and a rug and decorated it with fairy lights, and Louis knows that Penny will love it. 

“She’ll go crazy when she gets back,” Louis says, smiling at the prospect.

“It’s a really good birthday present,” Harry agrees, nudging Louis with his shoulder. “You really went all out with this one.” 

“She’s such a sweetheart, she deserves it,” he shrugs, “Also, I love spoiling her – don’t tell her that, I know you’re secretly in cahoots with her.” 

Harry snorts, “You’re still not over that phone call, are you?” 

*** 

It’s a week after Penelope’s sixth birthday that Harry finally gets to meet her. (Needlessly to say, Louis had a slight breakdown over the fact that his little girl is already six years old and not that little anymore.)

The face that he made when Louis proposed the idea of getting ice cream and going to the park with her before her actual birthday party is still ingrained into Louis’ brain. Happy and excited, his eyes a bright shade of green and his dimples ten feet deep. 

“I’ll go and get her, alright?” Louis says to Harry, who’s nervously fiddling with a miniature stuffed animal that he probably found in glove compartment of Louis’ car. When he notices, he drops it like he burnt himself and nods at Louis.

“Yes, okay, do that. I’ll wait here,” he says, and Louis’s gaze grows soft. 

“Hey,” he says gently and places a hand on Harry’s bicep, “You don’t need to be nervous. _She_ wanted to meet you, yeah? It’s not something that’ll make her uncomfortable, and she already likes you. Nothing to worry about.” 

It really was. Louis made a list of people to invite to her birthday, and it was mostly just family and some of her friends from school, and then Penelope had climbed onto his lap and peered at the list. “Is Harry on there?” She’d asked, and when Louis denied that and asked whether she wanted him to be invited, she just nodded.

“It’s just that,” Harry sighs, “How do I say this? It’s a lot of pressure, I guess, because you’re such a good dad and I’m not sure how I’ll do on that department.” He squeezes his eyes shut, “Not that that’s something I need to worry about anytime soon, because she obviously has you and Dani and Nick and you’re all great, but I really want to fit into that, too, some day.” 

“And you will, I promise,” Louis says, “But you’re right, that’s still a bit away. So, don’t pressure yourself today, okay?” 

They’ve talked for long enough that Dani already brought Penelope to the front door, and Louis can tell how excited she is by the way she’s waving her hands around while she talks and skips from one foot to the other. 

“You’ll be fine,” he says, kisses Harry’s cheek and then gets out of the car to get his daughter. 

“Dad! Can we go to the park with the dinosaurs?” She asks instead of greeting him, letting go of Dani’s hand and jumping at him. He picks her up effortlessly and spins her around before setting her back down. 

“The park with the dinosaurs?” He asks confused and looks to Dani for help. 

“That’s a thing, apparently,” she nods, “One of her friends went there or something, but I haven’t figured out where that park is supposed to be.” 

“No dinosaurs today,” he says to Penelope in an apologetic tone, hoping that it won’t put a damper on her excitement, “But we can go to the one downtown if you want.” 

The one where Louis and Harry had their second date. Their first kiss. What a fucking day. 

Penelope nods, and then starts tugging at his hand into the direction of his car, “Can we go now?” 

Harry is leaning against the car when they cross the street, and he waves at them, smiling. Louis knows him well enough that he can see through it and knows that he’s still nervous. 

“Hello Harry,” Penny says, and grabs at Louis’ leg for comfort. She’s still shy around strangers, but it’s obvious that she’s trying, and Louis loves her so, so much. 

“Hi Penny. I got you a birthday present, even though it’s a bit late,” Harry says and hands over a gift, wrapped in baby blue paper with a cute bow on top. Louis needs to keep him at least until Christmas so he has someone that can do all his wrapping for him. 

“Thank you!” She grins, her shyness forgotten. It really should worry him that she’s letting her guard down at the prospect of a gift, but he lets it slide. 

She rips open the packaging right there on the sidewalk, and her grins becomes even wider when she sees what it is. 

“Wicked! Look, Dad,” She calls out, holding out white bedsheets with little green Tyrannosaurus Rex’s on it. 

“Your dad told me about your new bed, and I thought you’d like those,” Harry explains and crouches down so he can properly talk to her. 

‘You literally helped building it,’ Louis thinks to himself, but stays quiet and lets them have their moment as Penelope launches into a long-winded explanation about primeval times and whatnot, and Louis blames her obsession with that stuff entirely on Liam. 

Later, when Louis is leaning back on the picnic blanket, blinking into the sun as he watches Harry push Penelope on the swing, her squeals and his laughter filling the air, he thinks about a quote he once saw on a really ugly decorative pillow. 

_The laugh of a daughter is the favorite symphony of a father._

It’s true, he can’t deny that, but the pillow was atrocious. And when he hears Harry declaring that he’s absolutely certain that she can reach the sky with her feet, he wonders why he was ever scared of this. 

*** 

**Four Years Later**

“To everyone who _doesn’t_ know me, hi, I’m Danielle, and I’m Penny’s mum,” Danielle’s voice sounds over the speakers, and Louis can feel Harry squeezing his thigh underneath the table. Louis places his hand on top of his but doesn’t tear his gaze away from Dani. He really wants to hear this. 

“I got married four years ago,” she goes on, and the guests cheer and whistle. Dani laughs, “Thank you. I got married four years ago, and I would like to take credit for getting these two together.” 

There are sounds of protests coming from across from Louis, where Liam is sitting. 

“No, Liam, this is my wedding toast, you don’t get to interrupt. They met at _my_ wedding,” Dani chides him, and everyone starts laughing. 

Louis looks to Harry, who’s laughing too, and then glances down to their hands, the silver bands on their ring fingers glistening under the lights. 

“Anyway. I’ve known Louis since I was eighteen years old and just enrolled in University, and he was a mess that did not have his life together, at all. But he’s always been a great friend, someone you could rely on and someone that has always put others first. And then I got really lucky and got to witness him becoming the greatest dad this world has ever seen,” she pauses, and if Louis’ eyes aren’t betraying him right now, hers are the tiniest bit shiny. 

“Louis, you’ve raised our daughter to be kind, and confident, and – most importantly –happy, and I couldn’t thank you enough for that.” 

Louis looks to his left side, where Penny is sitting. She’s listening closely to Dani, eyes trained on her mother. Her hair is long now, so endlessly long, it takes hours to dry, but her curls are still there. 

“Everyone who knows you also knows that you’re always looking out for others, almost to a fault. It’s your biggest asset and a flaw at the same time, because you tend to forget to take care of yourself. But then I got to witness something beautiful _again_ and that was the time where Harry came into your life. With him, you suddenly had someone to take care of _you_ and someone who put _you_ first, and I’m so unbelievably happy that you found each other,” she says, and Louis swallows hard. 

The number of times he’s cried today is getting embarrassingly high. There was the moment he saw Penny in her flower girl dress, and then when he saw Harry in his suit, and then when they said their vows and Harry brought up their first date that almost killed them, and then when they had a moment alone for the first time, and he realized that this is really his life and that he really is married to the love of his life now. 

And now he can add the wedding toast of his daughter’s mother onto the list, too. 

“I love you,” Harry whispers into his ears and Louis furiously wipes at his eyes. 

“I hate all of this,” he says, and Harry laughs softly. 

He notices then that he’s missing parts of Danielle’s speech, so he listens in again, “… and Harry became the person my daughter could go to when she was fighting with me or her dad, and she now has one more person that loves her unconditionally and that will always listen to her and help her grow into the woman she’s going to be one day.”

Dani pauses again, then says, “This is getting way too long, sorry. So, Harry and Louis, I love you both, and here’s to a life full of happiness and laughter and everything you’ve ever dreamed of. To Harry and Louis.” 

Everyone raises their glasses, and a chorus of “To Harry and Louis,” comes from the different tables. 

When Louis turns to Harry, he’s already looking at him, eyes water-y and filled with so much love, and he shakes his head slightly at Louis. 

“I know,” Louis whispers, “I can’t believe it either.” 

And then Harry kisses him, and Louis thinks about how he’ll get to do this for the rest of his life now. Until they’re grey and old and die one day apart from the other because he wouldn’t want to spend a day on this earth without Harry in his life. 

“Ew, stop,” Penelope swats his arm, dragging him back into reality, and he pulls away from Harry. 

“Watch me do that when you get married,” Louis scowls at her, “Not that I’ll let that happen before you’re at least thirty. 

“You had me when you were barely twenty,” she claps back, and Louis groans. She definitely got that from him.   
^  
“She’s got a point,” Harry says, and if they didn’t _just_ get married, Louis would kill him. It wouldn’t look good to be widowed at twenty-nine. 

Before Louis can say another word, Harry drags him up and to the dancefloor, the first songs starting to play. 

“D’you wanna know what Penny told me on that first phone call? You know, when she knocked over that vase and then talked to me?” Harry asks a few songs later when they’re spinning in slow circles, Louis’ head resting on Harry’s shoulder. 

“I thought she made you pinky-promise,” he says. 

“Well. I think she’d be fine with me telling you now,” Harry says, and Louis leans back a little to look at him. 

“Tell me,” he says and smiles.

“She told me about penguins,” he starts, but Louis interrupts him, “Penguins?” 

“Yes, penguins. Shut up now so I can tell you the story,” Harry scolds him, but he’s smiling fondly at the memory, “She told me about how penguins sometimes search an entire beach for the perfect pebble to give to their mates. I recently found out that that’s not entirely correct, but she was five, so I will forgive her for any inaccuracies. Anyway, she said that thing about the pebbles, and then told me that if I want to marry you, I needed to make sure I find the right pebble too, or else she wouldn’t let me marry you. 

“I mean, she probably didn’t even mean anything by it, but that was the moment I really started to understand how you two worked, as a father-daughter duo. And I kind of knew that I was going to be in this forever,” Harry says, and Louis stares at him, stunned. 

“Wow. Shit, I didn’t think it’d be something like that. God, she was so adorable,” he finally manages to get out. 

“I know. She still is,” Harry says, and lets his thumb run over Louis’ cheekbone. 

He hums in agreement. 

“You want to know when I knew I loved you?” He asks after a moment. 

“You already told me that,” Harry says, “When I drove you to the hospital.” 

“Yeah but it wasn’t about that. It was the fact that you made your decision to not go in with me about you or me, but about Penny, and I just thought. Fuck me, I love him.” 

“I’m still offended that you didn’t tell me for _months_ ,” he exclaims. They’re barely dancing now, just swaying in the middle of the dancefloor in order to keep talking. 

“I’ll tell you every single day from now until the day we die,” Louis says quietly, face inching closer to Harry’s. 

“Tell me what?” Harry asks, voice barely above a whisper, and usually Louis would roll his eyes at him, but not today, “I love you.”

And then Harry closes the gap between their mouths, and this time, Penelope is nowhere near as close enough to stop him, so he leans into it, and it’s like their first kiss all over again. Like they’re the only two people left in this world.

**Author's Note:**

> if you liked this, pls feel free to leave kudos and a comment :)


End file.
